Domestic Violence

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: Domestic Violence

The point here is, the girl KNEW the guy was bad news, that he had a violent temper, everyone in the family was warning her to NOT go through with it.....yet she still fought and for what? What "love"?

im sorry she's in a bad situation, but she put herself in it.

22

Re: Domestic Violence

^^ You will find a way - even if you are in Canada, you can have one of your trusted relatives in London call the Police if needed.

23

Re: Domestic Violence

aur karo ghar se bhaag k shaadi :chai:

24

Re: Domestic Violence

Sammi tell her to report it, there are so many asian women projects in London which can help these days. Even if she won't leave, she will have a record of it being recorded, which will help her later too so she can make a better case for herself. I work in London with homeless people and some DV clients, and they get a lotof counselling and support by just asking, they have translators and they can easily manage to speak with someone with discretion. They will give far better advice to her than I can - if she is on her own with a vulnerable child and a bad-tempred husband - she must not take any risks and do nothing.
Tell her to approach someone, they won't turn her away or think she is being silly.

25

Re: Domestic Violence

You need to tell his mates, the local imaam and others in his sphere of influence. You need to get an arbitary authority that you both listen to ... your relatives are his relatives and if he says "... but she must listen to me" and people don't react like you did ... then there is a need for a correction of his Islamic understandings that comes from outside the family ... it appears the family cannot provide that ... so go to someone religious for arbitration ... tell him that it is counselling and get the support for her that she needs.

Hypothetically ... sometimes I think of getting a group together that deal with domestic abuse in a similar fashion to the A-Team deal with their missions ... LOL ... men who beat their wives are cowards and I often wonder how they would react living in fear of their physical safety.

26

Re: Domestic Violence

Thank you everyone for the wise advice !

27

Re: Domestic Violence

Ok so here's the problem with her calling the cops/reporting it - if she goes back she's gonna be in a world of hurt from her husband and inlaws. So she better report it and GET OUT. Reporting it isn't going to fix it, it's going to make it worse especially if she has no family support in the country to stop him.

If it were me in this situation, I would have taken the kid and left as soon as he hit me. NO ONE deserves to be treated like that by their spouse EVER. I would also be scared for my kid. If she has a BComm she'll be fine... I don't even have one and I work for a bank. The other thing is you can't make this decision for her, she's going to have to do it herself and it won't be easy.

28

Re: Domestic Violence

But she does not deserve to be beaten or killed for making that mistake. We all make bad decisions , nobody is perfect. She is a human being She is not an animal for God's sake. She he deserve better . If you keep on beating your animal he will run away one day we are talking about a human here.

29

Re: Domestic Violence

One bad decision can destroy your entire life .. someone told me that once, I doubted it then. Now I'm in doubt of myself

30

Re: Domestic Violence

No nobody deserves this treatment at all....I never said that..

31

Re: Domestic Violence

"You need to tell his mates, the local imaam and others in his sphere of influence. You need to get an arbitary authority that you both listen to ... your relatives are his relatives and if he says "... but she must listen to me" and people don't react like you did ... then there is a need for a correction of his Islamic understandings that comes from outside the family ... it appears the family cannot provide that ... so go to someone religious for arbitration ... tell him that it is counselling and get the support for her that she needs."

With respect, i wouldl not go the Imaan or "someone religious" for arbitration hoping that they would be progressive enough to see the abused point of view. I would go to the authorities, get a restraining order against this person, and get the heck out of there in a hurry. This is not the time to get some elders with biases that may further jeopardize the victim.

32

Re: Domestic Violence

Id love to meet this scumbag.

33

Re: Domestic Violence

same here