Sandleen, suicide is very painful, and also very expensive and time-consuming. First, you have to decide if you want to hang yourself with either a cotton or chiffon lightly embroidered dupatta (rs. 400) from the ceiling fan or take pink or blue sleeping pills ($8.95) or just slit your wrists (free). Then, after deciding to slit your wrists like in the movies, you have to start the icemaker in the freezer, and leave it running for two days to get enough ice to fill a bathtub. Then, you have to sharpen a steak knife, and for that you have to go to the mall to buy a knife-sharpener ($27.95 plus $52.60 for that cute shirt in the window that you are never gonna wear coz you plan on being dead soon). For that, you have to go fill your car tank with enuf petrol to take you to the mall ($18.75), and if you get lost, you have to stop and ask for directions. All this, before even attempting suicide.
On the chosen day, you have to go back and forth from the kitchen to the bath with buckets full of ice, until the tub resembles summer in Alaska. Then you have to wash the steak knife with antiseptic, preferably Dettol (expired in medicine closet) so that the corpse does not get gangrene. Then you have to iron and change into the best outfit in your closet that you want to be found dead in, and starting at the one side of the left wrist to the other, you have to make attempts to slice your wrist. If you have sensitive skin and go real ouch ouch slow, you will be successful after about 500 tries. The you take the bleeding left hand, and go thru the same process for the right hand. By now, seven hours have passed, you’ve missed Sienfeld, The Simpsons, and Armageddon, and the ice cubes in the tub have melted. You plunge your hands in the cold water mess, and lie on the bathroom floor poised and ready to be found dead.
At 9pm everyone comes home from the movies, find you half-asleep, bleeding everywhere and muttering “goodbye cruel world” to yourself. The Emergency Room would bill your family a $100 co-payment if you had insurance with that hospital, but since you don’t, they hand Dad/hubby an invoice for $2,795.56 (if you’re lucky), the nurses roll their eyes at you, and the on-duty shrink looks at you suspiciously.
Congratulations, you have not only lost your self-respect, but so have others, for you. On top of which, you are still bloody alive.
As I said, suicide is risky business. Now please cheer up and go watch a movie with popcorn on the side 
smile ok? and 4get abt this rubbish
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