Over here in the Southern United States, specifically, Miami, there are a lot of American-born Muslims, whose parents immigrated from Pakistan (myself included) and I frequently hear the word "Paki" used. It's just slang, for my friend from Pakistan, and the weird thing is, is that we use it, and we are not technically from Pakistan. Actually sometimes we are referred to as ABCD's. (but thats another post on its own). As for pride for country, I don't care if my children are born in Japan, they are GOING to be loyal and love Pakistan.
In my opinion, nobody should use this word ever. Regardless of intention. It offends others period. Perhaps it only offends a small segment of the population, but regardless, the fact that it offends should be sufficient to curb its usage among both non-Pakistanis and Pakistanis themselves.
Achtung ;)
I have the same kind of experience. Some don't like to be called pakis. They say they don't know paki ling while they urdu and punjabi both ver well. ppl its not something to be shame of its something to be proud of. I am proud of being a Paki and a muslim and being called Paki. It is my recognization.
FB