waqat sub sai bara marham hai.....
thank you Uncle.
Re: Divorce
why did he divorced her?
thank you Uncle.
koi baat nahee beta :)
It was the other way around. She got a khula.
Yay kambakht desi dukaandaar kisi ko nahee choRRtay. Bechaari khula lainay gaee aur tallaaq laiker aagaaee.
Re: Divorce
Again 
Re: Divorce
again? :|
Re: Divorce
lol Aisha, that is a funguy patented line :D
Re: Divorce
Oh ok lol
Re: Divorce
Like other posters have said, she should keep herself busy with something... a new job or even go for higher education. Above all she needs to stay away from those people who will keep asking "kiya hua, kaisay hua" under the garb of sympathy...... that usually makes the person more depressed.
It was the other way around. She got a khula.
hm..why did she ask for one if she really loved the guy?
Lets say a good close friend of yours got divorced and they are very depressed and crying etc and thinking negatively how would you try to help them out? This person's friends are telling them it is OK etc but they are taking it to the heart and being very self destructive. On top of that the divorced individual feels extra sad because they are highly young and really loved the person.
What else can you do besides talk to the person and encourage them? Do you see this individual regularly? And first of all.........WHY.......is the person feeling down?
I know this may sound like a stupid question. But is the person feeling down because he/she realizes the role they may have played in the marriage ending in divorce and wishes they could turn time back and fix things? OR.........is the person feeling down because of the way desi society treats divorced individuals.
Every situation is different. Was the individual married to an abusive jerk? If so.......then help him/her see the positive consequences of the separation. Life is too short to put up with such toxic people no matter how much you think you might "love" them.
I would say..........ask your friend exactly why he/she is feeling depressed. Let him/her give their reasons and talk about how they feel. And then take it from there. Tell your friend that "positive" aspects about a separation even if they can't just see it yet. There is a silver lining to every gray cloud. Redirect her toward finding peace in prayer and turning to Allah for guidance and help.
AND THEN.................tell your friend that talking about the former spouse every time he/she meets up with friends might delay the process of moving on. Sometimes.........talking about your feeling is good. And other times.......reliving the past all the time........does nothing but scratch away the healing scab of an old wound.......and cause it to bleed all over again. I know this is easier said than done................but** excessive** reliving the past in your mind and discussions........can backfire as opposed to being therapeutic.
So you should involve the friend in positive activities.........and NO......I don't think watching romance movies would be among them. That just brings back memories for the person. Instead go shopping with your friend...........join a class (it could be dance class, cooking class, art, yoga, etc). Go jogging with your friend or to the gym. Physical exercise raises the endorphin levels and uplifts the mood. Pursue a class.......hobby.........go back to school........get involved in noble causes, etc.
When your mind is busy, shaitan has little opportunity to wreak havoc with it. Plus, if the friend pursues an activity (such as taking a class)....with the intention of moving on and developing him/herself...........then inshaAllah they might meet somebody totally amazing and get married again.
Re: Divorce
Thanks RV for the detailed reply :) She is feeling a bit better.
Re: Divorce
IN today's world women are treated equal to men...
They have equal rights.
i would prefer she can leave the person and can start a new life. If she holds a good degree...she can get a good job ........
Re: Divorce
Yeh you are right :)
Re: Divorce
I don't know if four years is fixed. But it depends how long the marriage lasted.
For one and half years marriage, this seems very long time to get over.
Just curious, did she think she could forgive? Not that he would not have done it again.
Re: Divorce
Diwana it is not just about his infidelity, she has been through a lot and as a last straw she got a khula that also after dragging it from months and trying to prevent it.
Diwana it is not just about his infidelity, she has been through a lot and as a last straw she got a khula that also after dragging it from months and trying to prevent it.
Got it. Once she find someone, she'll get over it. :-)