Re: Divorce
^uhhh yeh, very intelligent way to prove your point
I beg to differ here. Without knowing the entire matter do not judge a person. Take this hypothetical situation. If the husband has spent quite an amount of unaccounted money for the well being of his in-laws and has exhausted almost all the good sources of income, what can he do. He would need to dodge Haq mehr.
On a personal front, I had a dear friend who married this Bi*. She was forever asking him to spend money on her mother who had some notion on what luxury was. This guy lost his job and then this female sued him for dowry harassment. He was chucked out of his house(he had bought it with his own momey) and now the guy is a mental wreck. The court has ordered him to pay some huge amount as compensation to this bi*.
I beg to differ with you and OP completely.
A- OP has changed the position in post #4 and became a woman all of a sudden while posted the first question stating
"My spouse is abroad, can i send divorce papers to **her* from pakistan? If so, can three divorce be sent at once? Or it has to be one divorce?**"
How can a woman send divorce papers to a woman???
And now asking people to relax?? LOL.
Hence, my post #2 was very appropriate to the first post.
B- Regardless what a man does all his life and spend money on whoever including in-laws, this should not make 'him' dodge haq Mehr.
Two different things. *One is gift and other is obligation.* There is no self made excuse to go against what is right thing to do.
**A real man should think of mehr BEFORE MARRIAGE. Not at the time of divorce. That's being COWARD AND CHEATER.
**
C- For those who are focusing on Pakistan only, its not just in Pakistan, this kind of act is universal and lawyers and people around the world may try to do the same thing.
D- How can a man be so dumb to lose job and everything like that, as the example you gave? Are you sure he is not mentally ill or something else was cooking somewhere in that relation? Anyhow I am unable to call her a B**** not knowing the details.
*
It depends on which Imam you follow, Hanafi, Shaafi, Maliki etc. Hanifi Sect has the strictest rules about this issue. My answers are based on Hanafi school of thought.
BTW, none of Imams followers are IDIOTS or stupid as Deeba1234 rudely commented.
- My spouse is abroad, can i send divorce papers to her from pakistan? If so, can three divorce be sent at once? Or it has to be one divorce?
- Husband can send papers or call or even send text message saying 'mein nay tum ko TALAAQ DI, TALAAQ DI, TALAAQ DI' and divorce will occur right away
- Can a lawyer send the divorce papers on husband behalf? Should the mail be registered or not?
- Yes. But he doesn't need a lawyer to divorce. Read number 1.
- How is it possible to dodge haq mehr? What tactics do pakistani lawyers use for their clients, so they dodge paying mehr.
- Pakistani gov't and Pakistani nation is the most corrupt gov't and nation on the face of this planet. Dodging a murder punishment is a piece of cake (example: your president Zardari...), what's dodging a haq mahr ? It will probably cost him couple of thousand rupees to do that (paying some Molvi, or lawyer or judge or may be to some minister)
Answer to question 3 is far from reality. Please wake up!
Overt and covert corruption is everywhere.
[li]My spouse is abroad, can i send divorce papers to her from pakistan? If so, can three divorce be sent at once? Or it has to be one divorce?[/li][ul] [li]Husband can send papers or call or even send text message saying 'mein nay tum ko TALAAQ DI, TALAAQ DI, TALAAQ DI' and divorce will occur right away[/li][/ul]
For such a live changing event as divorce, just a simple text message and it's done? Here's what Quran has to say about this ( Albaqarah, verse 231): "When ye divorce women, and they fulfil the term of their ('Iddat), either take them back on equitable terms or set them free on equitable terms"
I beg to differ with you and OP completely.
B- Regardless what a man does all his life and spend money on whoever including in-laws, this should not make 'him' dodge haq Mehr.
Two different things. *One is gift and other is obligation.* There is no self made excuse to go against what is right thing to do.
It is very easy to talk from a third person's perspective. I understand the difference between gift and obligation. I think it is important that we differentiate between what is practical and theoretical.
[QUOTE]
**A real man should think of mehr BEFORE MARRIAGE. Not at the time of divorce. That's being COWARD AND CHEATER.
[/QUOTE]
I think that very few people plan for divorce before marriage. It is very easy to talk about pre-nupital agreements and all that. I seriously would think twice if my fiancee came and talked about pre-nupital agreements.
[QUOTE]
C- For those who are focusing on Pakistan only, its not just in Pakistan, this kind of act is universal and lawyers and people around the world may try to do the same thing.
[/QUOTE]
I am not talking about Pakistan my dear friend. I am from India and thought I would add an Indian perspective to this.
[QUOTE]
D- How can a man be so dumb to lose job and everything like that, as the example you gave? Are you sure he is not mentally ill or something else was cooking somewhere in that relation? Anyhow I am unable to call her a B**** not knowing the details.
[/QUOTE]
Maybe you have not heard about the recession. The recession is for real and this friend of mine got laid off from the company he was working in. Imagine loosing a job and getting a notice for divorce at the same time. If that does not make a person a mental wretch, I dont know what can.
Good that you are unable to call her a B**** before you know the entire details.
1- My spouse is abroad, can i send divorce papers to her from pakistan?
If so, can three divorce be sent at once? Or it has to be one divorce?
**
The Islamic answer is, husband can say it 3 times, he does not even need a witness, and then can send papers to wife, telling her that he has given her 3 divorces.
Legally, if wife is abroad, she can use that signed affidavit to have her marriage lisc of that country nullified (if she had a marriage lisc. from that country)**
2- Can a lawyer send the divorce papers on husband behalf? Should the mail be registered or not?
**
Yes any one can send the paper on his behalf, though it should have husband's signature on them**
3- How is it possible to dodge haq mehr? What tactics do pakistani lawyers
use for their clients, so they dodge paying mehr.
There are no tactics I think. If husband refuse to pay, I dont think that any law can make him pay
[quote="djmi, post:58, topic:201083"]
3- How is it possible to dodge haq mehr? What tactics do pakistani lawyers
use for their clients, so they dodge paying mehr.
[QUOTE]
I still am unable to get this information?
Thank you for the other answers.
Thank you TLK.
Re: Divorce
The third question …what a load of crap…asking strangers how a freaking person “dodge” paying haq mehr..What a Loser of a guy would do that.I bet his wife will have a much better life without him:mad:
Re: Divorce
is haq mehr a legal obligation under pakisatni law?
is haq mehr a legal obligation under pakisatni law?
If it was a written contract then it can be processed by court.
It is very easy to talk from a third person's perspective. I understand the difference between gift and obligation. I think it is important that we differentiate between what is practical and theoretical.
OK. I am glad you understand that Haq Mehr is woman's right. Whatever the man spends during marriage time has no bearing on woman.
I think that very few people plan for divorce before marriage. It is very easy to talk about pre-nupital agreements and all that. I seriously would think twice if my fiancee came and talked about pre-nupital agreements.
My post did not mention about any divorce planning or pre-naptual. What I meant is that a man should think of haq mehr at the time of divorce and keep the amount reasonable that he can pay in case of divorce. Trying to dodge a woman of her right is simply not a noble thing to do. Regardless of what the man do to avoid it. ** Its a shameful act.**
I am not talking about Pakistan my dear friend. I am from India and thought I would add an Indian perspective to this.
Please read my post. I clearly said 'for those who are focusing on Pakistan. So why worry?
Maybe you have not heard about the recession. The recession is for real and this friend of mine got laid off from the company he was working in. Imagine loosing a job and getting a notice for divorce at the same time. If that does not make a person a mental wretch, I dont know what can. Good that you are unable to call her a B**** before you know the entire details.
Who cares about recession? Thats a lame excuse by itself. Its a strict obligation and if she forgives it freely then its OK. If not, then he has to pay just as other responsibilities of his life. He is not going to sit around and not work at all. Think of it as just another obligatory expense. Besides he promised to pay that at the time of marriage. If he is certifiable mentally ill only then your point seems valid.
.
Re: Divorce
Regardless of the religious and legal aspects, I hope that divorce is the best decision for you, and that you have thoroughly thought it through.
Good luck!
Re: Divorce
simple .... jst turn the tables around.... thats wat most guys do, if they dont wana pay Haq Mehr!
well so far the best tactic guys have been using is to make girl ask for Kulah which means she has to give up haq mehr.....
in most cases this is the very reason guys dont give haq mehr right away even though they r suppose to but they dont..... that they might end up divorcing so save the haq mehr so we can make her ask for kulah and we can get away without paying for haqmehr
quite sik thinking but its true...
i even heard that most girl's families put a big amount of money so guy would think twice before giving divorce cuz then he'll have to give her haq mehr....
those who r having a gud marriage dont really care abt haq mehr cuz wife automaticaly is given all the 'haq' by her husband
and those who dont they never get haq mehr....
so i dont really understand why we have it in nikah nama....when majority dont follow
Re: Divorce
I think this happens mostly in Pakistan and India, where haq mehr is deferred. Arabs and other muslims pay the mehr at the time of nikkah.
Diwana, you are right it is a shameful act when a man divorces without paying mehr. Especially when a child is involved as well. I hope such kind of people realize their doings.
Thank you Ziya.
Re: Divorce
Legally/religiously It is actually haram in all 4 schools of thought, shafi, hanbali, hanafi and maliki to issue 3 divorces at once.