You are a teacher??????? I won't make fun of you anymore. You have my utmost respect. Well until you start acting all loco. lol
Aaaw.........funnyboy......you already beat to me "loco" land. LOL :)
Since you're "special".....basic respect might be too difficult of a task for you to handle. So, with the utmost understanding of an accommodating educator, I say...don't burden your soul too much. :)
Re: disciplining someone else's kids
:D
some comments gere missed the point already, it is not about not being able to stand kids visiting, but kids not behaving properly. Kids will be kids sure but there are limits, kids running all over someone's house slamming doors and all is simply not cool because someone is going to get their face smashed or fingers caught in that. If I can see it, so can the parents, yet they choose nothing to do about it. Kids get into fights and parents dont get up etc. That sort of stuff.
Exactly! I was really hurt by the comments from parents in the previous thread that said people who get upset by this stuff don't deserve to have children or be around them.
It's not about the kids; it's about negligent and inconsiderate parents.
Re: disciplining someone else's kids
I have come across this situation many a time when parents visit with their children and the children run riot. Before I would try and ignore the behaviour and hope the parents discipline their children but when it became apparent they simply did not care, I changed my stance. As far as I am concerned if their behaviour is affecting my house and my family I WILL tell them off..after all my house and my rules!!
Re: disciplining someone else's kids
ok another question, what do u do about a kid who constantly mocks you .. or even hits you when u stop them from doing something? And this only happens when the parents arent in the same room... how do u handle that other than giving them the eye and telling them to stop or else...
Re: disciplining someone else's kids
Don't say "or else." I'd explain the reasoning and then say, "If you do that again, I will X" And then follow-through. Don't make a threat you won't keep.
They'll probably scream, so that's the hard part. Can you deal with the tantrum? Some kids give up after a while. Others don't.
Re: disciplining someone else's kids
^ the "or else" was my "im going to turn the dvd off".. :) i usually do tell the kid what will happen.. depending on what they are doing at that time.
But really, i dont get it. I think the kid hates me.. aah well
ok another question, what do u do about a kid who constantly mocks you .. or even hits you when u stop them from doing something? And this only happens when the parents arent in the same room... how do u handle that other than giving them the eye and telling them to stop or else...
Hmm, don't say "or else." Because some parents are SUPER DEFENSIVE about their child and if the kid tells his parents that you said this........then the parents might assume that you're "threatening" their child by saying "or else." They'll defensively wonder, "Or else what? What does Sadzzz plan to do to my kid. He's just a kid."
Take the child to the parent. Or call the parents over to the room. You, the parents, AND THE CHILD..........should be in the same place so that no misunderstandings or assumptions takes place cuz everybody will be present.
Proceed to tell the parents the situation. Explain to the parents that you don't intend to offend them and that you enjoy having them over. But....that you have some rules for kids so that the environment is overall a safe and pleasant one for everyone. Then tell the parents what happened. Tell them that their child hit you. The kid will obviously look guilty and won't be able to hide it well from the parents cuz he'll be put on the spot. And since he'll be in the same room.............he can't fabricate anything. Having 3 adults in the room looking at you.............is a challenging situation for children......and if they're young.......they're likely to not try any chalaki.
Tell the parents. You'd want to know if Heba was misbehaving with an adult so you can nip the problem behavior in the bud. If you don't inform the parents..............then in the future.......he might behave in the same way with OTHER adults (relatives, neighbors, teachers, family friends, etc). His parents have to teach him that he needs to have respect for everyone especially authority figures BESIDES mom and dad. And they can't enforce this concept if they don't know that there's a problem.
I think it's effective. Teachers will often times request that a conference takes place with the parents AND the child present in the same room. That way.........the child hears/sees everything that the teacher has to say. Usually children stay quiet. The parents hear everything. Everything is openly done. AND.........all questions and doubts from the parents and child are answered/cleared by the teacher. This leaves LITTLE ROOM........for the kid to fabricate and lie about things to the parents. Cuz everyone was there.
Re: disciplining someone else's kids
Good points RV.
But what do you do when one parent - say Mom - really works on disciplining while getting no support from Dad who is happily zoned out in front of the game and says not a word when his child goes up and kicks mom...HARD...right in front of Dad. True story. Of course at that point, it's not for me or anyone else to say anything. Mom and Dad are right there. But what do you do when there's only one disciplinarian?
And worse yet, what do you do when both parents seem to have checked out and will rip you apart for even implying that their child did something wrong?
Re: disciplining someone else's kids
^ Yeah.. i dont say "or else".. I most of the time give than an option that they wont like... it doesnt really work. So i go ahead with my option
Good points RV.
But what do you do when one parent - say Mom - really works on disciplining while getting no support from Dad who is happily zoned out in front of the game and says not a word when his child goes up and kicks mom...HARD...right in front of Dad. True story. Of course at that point, it's not for me or anyone else to say anything. Mom and Dad are right there. But what do you do when there's only one disciplinarian?
And worse yet, what do you do when both parents seem to have checked out and will rip you apart for even implying that their child did something wrong?
The way I see it, you can't control how other people will act. But you try to do what's right. As an adult, it's a waste of time to get into an ego battle with a child (tempting as it might be). Your tone when talking to the parents matters. Now, if they get defensive.........remind them that you're not judging them or their child, that you only felt that it would be good for them to know.
They might have acted defensively out of embarrassment. But there are parents who'll chew their kids out for "embarrassing" them once their in a more private setting. And if they don't bother to do anything about the behavior.......chances are they'll hear the same complaints from others in the near future. And they might even scratch their heads and wonder, "Gee....if several people have said that about my kid, something isn't right."
Or the parents will eventually see the kid acting that way towards them. Regardless of how they respond..........i think it's good to let them know what has happened. Then they can't say that "they weren't warned" if gets worse in the future. Your intention is to help the kid and the parents......not to get the kid "busted" by mom and dad.
About an apathetic parent.........hmm I don't know how that should be handled. The more active parent shouldn't consistently apply consequences regardless of the fact that their spouse can't be bothered. The child should know that at least SOMEONE will bother to enforce rules.
I guess you'd talk privately to your spouse about the issue and how their apathy sends conflicting messages to the child and the lack of consistency just hinders progress and is not good for the overall home environment. And maybe tell the spouse that "Enabling our child to disrespect me is ALSO an indication that YOU don't respect me either."