i went to a mendhi last month...it was an all girls event and as the girl is religious she didnt have dancing just a bit of singing.
to make up for it she organised loads of games for the young and old:
- blind mans bluff
- pass the parcel with truths and dares
- food eating competitions with things like really thin sher khurma/jelly (the aunties really loved this)
- races for the kids
- her friends organised a really funny quiz show type of play where all of them were dressed up as different characters.
she also had poems and speeches from her friends and a documentary style slide show.
also, if you want dancing you could always get classic wedding songs and just free style to them...get 'mendhi taa sajdi je nachay munde di maa...' and get the aunties to dance to that.