ye very much experienced with this. I use to feel so so so bad and I use to cry a lot whenever this was used on me - even for something as little as thinking about I want to learn to swim or learn to dance or freaking participate in a fashion show - my true passion!!
I use to feel bad when they would say it, cause I ALWAYS felt that they just did not understand the meaning of living a life HAPPILY. Their means of life was full of tension. Like just fulfilling a husband wife duty and raising kids. Nothing beyond that… at least that’s what I thought when I was growing up.
I just think it was very wrong of my parents to control me with emotions.
I missed out on a lot in life because of fear of upsetting them. I regret not being upfront and confident when I met the right guy in my life. I was **** scared of what my parents would think. Boyfriends/dating these things were just never discussed. I let go of a very nice guy - cause I thought my parents would die on hearing that I have someone in mind who was actually absolutely in love with me. I remember him crying when he hugged me a last good bye. I miss him.
I just wished I knew at that time that the emotional dramas were just ways of controlling me because I was submissive to it.
I cannot bring back time, but I can definitely change the ways of life with my own kids.
I would never use emotional blackmail on my kids. It’s just not fair.
I agree and disagree, with what you say. I have many regrets, however I think in life I am just trying to understand their ways of raising. I guess they did not know any better ways.
My parents are now getting old, and I would HATE to say or even think anything wrong about them. They have done a good job otherwise. They were very supportive… but I think the only time they felt emotional blackmail was needed was when they themselves did not know how to handle the situation.
I forgive them on all my personal regrets that I did not get to do… I love them! There is no other like my parents! Truly. =)