**Isn’t there another thread all about Pakistani Fornication… they got some figures on there… not exactly scientific though!
I myself have used dating sites in the past. I’ve made it clear to my family that an arranged marriage isn’t for me, so they’ve left it up to me to find a wife. A couple of years ago I decided to try out a site called “Single Muslim” and it was quite an eye-opener.
Firstly I’d say about 60% of the profiles on there are either fake, expired or from people on there just to pass time. I got quite a few messages from girls in Pakistan who didn’t seem to want to know anything about me, they just wanted to get married.
My preference was to find someone here in the UK and I did meet a few girls. Some girls just wanted to talk to someone, some just wanted a text mate, some just wanted someone to buy them dinner, some just wanted someone to take them to the movies AND buy them dinner! I knew I was on there to find a wife but it was still nice to meet these girls, chat with them, see if there was any kind of spark between us and along the way I learnt a lot about what women are looking for in a guy.
Quite a few of these girls had had bad experiences with men in the past, boyfriends who had treated them badly, rishtas that had turned into nightmares and so on. It was clear some of them still hadn’t gotten over their bad experience.
Like I said I was there to find a wife and that’s what I tried to stay focused on… but I’m also a guy… and us guys are easily distracted. A couple of months into the whole “Single Muslim” experience a woman got in touch with me, she only lived a few miles away, her profile was ok, her pic was stunning!! …but she was a divorcee with a 3 year old girl. I’d been looking for someone who had never married before… but… I don’t know if I mentioned it, she was stunning… so not long after, we chatted on the phone and agreed to meet up that weekend.
We met up, had a coffee and a chat, she was a nice girl. She’d previously had an arranged marriage to guy from Pakistan but from what she told me he hadn’t treated her very well and as soon as he got his UK Passport, he divorced her. The second time we met up, she invited me back to her house. Her daughter was spending the day with her ex-husband’s family so we had the place to ourselves. So anyway…we had a “nice time” and she invited me to come back the next time her daughter was going to be away. That was her thing, I’d suggest going for a meal or a concert, movies whatever but she just wanted me to go over to hers and have a “nice time”.
Turns out she was sick of doing the right thing, being the good daughter, the perfect student, the dutiful wife, she’d done all that and it got her nowhere so now she was just going to look after herself and her daughter, she wasn’t even looking to get married again. I still wanted to get married and she was fine with me carrying on searching but wanted me to help her out with her “urges”.
I met a couple of other divorced girls further down the line and they told me similar stories about their marriages… arranged marriage, husband treated them like crap and then left them. The whole experience had left them emotionally scarred and they weren’t interested in getting married again. Just wanted to someone to talk to and every now and then take care of their needs.
I was distracted for about a year!
Then I went back to searching for someone who actually wanted to get married. Met a few more girls. Some were normal and nice, some were weird, some had serious issues! Finally met one girl who was different from the rest, we hit it off instantly. Now unlike my “divorced friends” I was never expecting to have sex with this girl, things were flirty but romantic, sure we did stuff but never went all the way. Everything was great, a few perfect months went by and then it all turned to crap when we got the families involved. Her Dad wasn’t keen on her moving to another town (we lived 25 miles apart), her Mum had hoped she’d marry a doctor or at the very least an accountant, her Grandmother wanted her to marry someone who’s family originated from Faisalabad (even though Granny had been living in UK for 25 years!!) and so on. The girl crumbled under all the pressure from her family and eventually ended it.
So you see, it doesn’t matter if you choose the traditional route or the desi western dating route… once the family get involved, you’re still screwed… the only advantage to the dating route is when it all falls apart, you can call your divorced friends!**
