Have you had the experience of being transplanted to a culture different from the one you grew up in? What was it like? How long did it take to adjust and make friends? How bad did it get?
When you look back, what do you think you should have done in order to have lessened the severity of the shock?
Would especially like to hear the experiences of desis from the subcontinent who landed up in the west minus their families. Others are also welcome to share their experiences. 
Queer Yar, lemme give you my experience. It was a big cultural shock for me coming to England after finishing my two-year college in Lahore. Actually, my experience started before coming to England. It started in Lahore when I went to the British Council to inquire about scholarships and educational opportunities in the UK. I didn’t believe my ears after the Educational Adviser spent 4 hours with me going over tons of grants and thousands of programs to choose from. My experience with my own school was, well, an average one. My teachers could help me only a little, and my parents too poor to send their Ladla to Walayt. I was not only impressed with how I was treated by the Council, but after dealing with them for some months, it boosted my confidence a thousand fold. So the encounters with them were an eye-opener to me, as I had always thought that only those who have connection are the privileged ones. Even after 18 years, I am still in contact with the British Council in Lahore.
When I arrived in England, my emotion were a mixture of excitement, fear, and uncertainty of not knowing how I will fare, but I managed to come out of my fears before too long. My last 5 years (out of total of 6) were very pleasant and I learnt more about my self during that time, than I did back in my own country. Even my appreciation for my own country grew every moment I spent away from it. I realized how much I love my country and what it means to me.
So, as much as it was a cultural shock for me, it was also an awakening experience.
After spending 12 years here in the USA, I am still adjusting to the Cultural Shock of coming from England to New York. New York is a bit too much for me to handle, but I am growing with it.
Now, the biggest cultural shock is when I go back to Lahore. Ever since I left Lahore, they have ruined everything. I think they need me back. May be I should go back and run for Mayor of Lahore.
[quote]
Originally posted by NYAhmadi:
*Now, the biggest cultural shock is when I go back to Lahore. Ever since I left Lahore, they have ruined everything. I think they need me back. May be I should go back and run for Mayor of Lahore. *
[/quote]
NYA you are tooo funny, you are making me feel better.
So, Queer, are you traveling to the West soon? I don't think you will have any trouble, you are ready to deal with what you find but not lose yourself, right? Zara
Yeah when I visited the Bosphorus Island in Turkey
http://www.pak.org/gupshup/eek.gif
Who says nothing is impossible? I’ve been doing nothing all my life!
why what happened in Bosphorus Island Hum Sa?
never really had a culture shock, . hm, ohyeah, one major one though. i waskinda surprised how the kids in hs drank A LOT at home/parties/etc. and oh yeah, having multiple partners or just one in that sharam kinda way.....that's dissggusssssstinnnngggg. then again, i ws pretty young then -- what did i know...
anyways, i was just a littttlllle bit surprised by those kids......and grossed out. :)
I get culture shock moving from one part of the city t another.
Korangi being a few minutes out of Defense.
Lalu Kher being just a few minutes drive from KDA1 and Gulshan.
Different lifestyles, different attitudes, different issues....different life.
and you did not even have to travel far to see it.
If one is cultured enough believe me you won't get any shock.
To me every part of this world seems the same…..meaning shock-proof.
That is another thing how you define non-cultured
NYA,
When I arrived in England, my emotion were a mixture of excitement, fear, and uncertainty of not knowing how I will fare, but I managed to come out of my fears before too long.<
i can relate very well to how you must have felt. What would be your advice to minimize the discomfort of the transition? Whom did you have to lean on when you felt home-sick or when you needed to have some heart-to-heart talks? er.. how was the accent problem? do the goras ridicule desi accents? how friendly are goras?
Zara,
i’ve got a mild inferiority complex, which when combined with my shyness tends to make me hate meeting new people and formal occasions. i’m in for some trouble, just want to know what to expect. 
HumSa,
Turkey? huh? how long were you there?
Kohal,
the multiple partner bit sounds gross to me too..
Pir Sahib,
very encouraging!
http://www.pak.org/gupshup/frown.gif
if you get a culture shock driving around the city, i’ll get a heart attack from jumping halfway across the globe!
http://www.pak.org/gupshup/frown.gif
oye, where are all the F-1 and H-1B visa guys?? c’mon folks, tell us how it was.
Durr-e-shahwar,
that’s the problem! i aint cultured!
http://www.pak.org/gupshup/frown.gif
how do i get cultured?
btw, i luv cultured prawns. 
Jasoos,
oye, samjha naheeN bhai.
Yeh lo
http://www.pak.org/gupshup/rolleyes.gif
URZ kia hay,
Samajh samajh kay samajh ko samjho
samajh samajhna bhee aik samajh hay
samajh samajh kay jo naa samjhay
meri samjh may wo naa samjh hay
abb bhee nahee samjhay
Queer bro
I dunno, I moved around several countries as a kid and I dunno I just kinda got used to not only being in different cultures but also dealing with people from many other cultures, due to my dad's job we came across an array of people from all different countries.
I really did not feel any shock shuttling back and forth b/w UK and Saudi or when I moved to Pakistan or when I moved to USA.
I mean people have different ways of doing things and culture is different but if you expect it to be diferent and you expect to be a player in it and know that you will have to balance your own beliefs and culture with the culture that you are in, you should do okay.
Queer,
"i've got a mild inferiority complex, which when combined with my shyness tends to make me hate meeting new people and formal occasions. i'm in for some trouble, just want to know what to expect. :)"
I think I remember that you are not too old yet, and this is definitely something that improves with age. (hope I don't sound like your mom here). My good friend was very shy when he first came here, and even had a stuttering problem. Now he is over both and is very outgoing to boot as a result of his successes here.
I think this country can improve the confidence of people who are a little "unusual." Are you unusual :)? Believe me there is much more room in the US for all types than in India or Pak.
You will find goras very friendly and welcoming (I have found this, anyway), and whatever preconcieved notions they might have towards us as a group, they forget them when dealing one on one. You are a smart guy with an adaptable personality (here is mom again) and I really think you won't have trouble.
Zara bhaji
Queer,
I came from pak to US by myself.
There wasnt a big cultural shock.( because I knew what to expect) Of course it took some time..( not too long) ta make friends, and be comfortable enuff to sing desi songs at work..
My first friend however ( I am sure i was looking for some one like me)was an Indian guy, and my first date was an indian woman.......an interesting tangent here is that I have heard from many pakistanis that they would rather have Indian then paki friends ,,,,and vice versa.....( there is absolutely no difference in them for me)
Most of teh cultural differences were positive..
I still do and will continue to miss desi food , carefree life and woman in desi dress...
There was a brief initial time , when everyhting that I had left behind seemed so great , and had a rather critical evaluation of everything here, but that didnt last long...( I remember being quite upset at a gora for thinking that I was from middle east,,, Was too proud of a paki to be considered anyhting else) Now I know that was the time when I was trying to establish my status in the new surroundings....
Khir...Where are u at? and where are u coming ( or going)...
If you ever find yourself navigating the east coast of US,,,,, drop by ..
[This message has been edited by Nova (edited May 04, 2000).]
Jasoos,
haan ji, samajh gaya ki aap ki baat is gadhae ki samajh ki baahar hain..
http://www.pak.org/gupshup/frown.gif
Frauds,
how could i forget! you the modern day gypsy
Zara,
you make a great counselor, sis! thanx, i really needed that bit of confidence boosting. am i unusual? i am, just a bit (isnt everyone :), but not in the way my nick might suggest).
ps> you are nice.
Nova,
very encouraging experiences. i’m looking forward to meeting a pakistani in real life, in fact, i’m looking forward to making friends with people from all cultures - am to work under an iranian, along with a few chinese, egyptians, serbs, frachais, greeks and americans. thanks for the offer, east coast, huh? i’m in madras now, and will be moving to california this august. btw, are you really a teacher, as your profile says?
Queer.....just be comfortable with yourself.
I have been culture shocked a couple of times
I think the main time, I know this is kinda wiered to say, but when I was 8 years old and I went back to pakistan for the 2nd time after 4 years, so basically it was all new to me. It was a culture shock cause I have never seen a whole nation full of Pakistanis, and back then I didnt know hoe to communicate in urdu, so it was tough, Although I slowly learned.
Alot of things are different, the fact that here in canada, you can walk down a street but it wont be as pakced as it would in karachi,
the weather is another thing, totally different,
and who can for get THE BATHROOM
That has to be the worst form of cuture shock.
LOL
but I think that every thime I go back I am culture shocked, it just gets less each time I go, and it depends how often I go.
The strange thing is I went 2 years ogo for three months, I was less cuture shiocked cause I had become a bit used to it, but the main shock, was coming back, because you are soo used to seeing 0 percent white people, and so used to having to speak urdu, and your in such a different society.
those were the main culure shocks i have experienced
but I think taht anywhere you go in the wold you will experience it lways, because societies, and cultures differe from city, to city, to country to country.
Canada to UK.....major culture shock.
I'm still trying to overcome it....will keep you posted on how things turn out.
:)
yeah i have to agree with Munza,
my culture shock is staying in England for any length of time...(i live in canada) and it takes a while to adjust to how different things are there.