Some guys just don’t communicate well. My husband hardly ever texts. And when he’s at football or with his friends he doesn’t text or call then either. When he gets home we have dinner together and he mainly stays quiet while TV is on. We usually have a quick chat which lasts a minute when we’re getting ready for bed lol. But that’s just the way he is. Hes more an action than words type of guy. He let’s me sleep in on the weekends and gets up early to look after baby. He brings me a glass of milk to bed. He helps wash up after dinner. Its the little things that show me he cares. Maybe you need to look at his actions. Guys aren’t as open emotionally as women are. The more you nag at them the less communicative they get. Sometimes we just sit in silence lol but I still feel connected with him. Don’t need to talk really to know how the other is feeling.
How hard it is for girls to understand following 2 words
“most of the guys are not good in sharing feelings or emotions”
OK that was not 2 words but oh well…
So if he is a good guy otherwise, there is no need to panic. As for check-in, check-out if you keep asking him to do that it will sound as if you want him on leash. If he realize it and feel the need, he will do it himself else if you keep on pushing him, he will get annoyed with it. You can remind him in friendly/informal way but dont make it a issue.
PS: Oh and girls, for the love of life, please STOP comparing before and after marriage time. One is fantasy land, other one is where rubber meets the road.
PS2: speaking of which, i should txt my begum. Haven’t texted her in ages. Ho sakta hai wo bhi kisi forum per ya apni kisi dost sai yehi complain ker rahi ho !
PS3: liken kaheen aisa na ho k eik txt ker dooon tu uss ki aadat bhi kharab ho jayee
OP ive been married for 8 years n ive got exactly same kind of hubby… even though he used to text/call me on daily basis during 2 years of engagement period… but just after getting married he had the same attitude n same responses that i will see u in evening so theres no need to text or call.. i just have compromised now and dont expect these things from him..
OP my husband is the opposite he will txt call me all the time and if im at work i dont respond much. Not that i dont care i just get busy he has a demanding job but still finds time to bug me lol bless
But when we are at home hes more quiet and subdued whereas i love to chat and talk and outside of work im more lively. you guys are newly weds it will take time maybe just say things like i understand work is busy but just drop me a txt/email during the day to let me know how u are etc just dont expect a full blown conversation.
Seriously… I mean there have been times when hubby has told me about plans the night before that he has has after work the next day and Im like cool. The next day I dont hear anything all day until 11pm when he is on his way home. I was like you dont even know if I made it home ok from work or technically if I went missing in the last 12 hours (you would only realise if u come home at 11pm and I wasnt there) and he thought I am over reacting. I am not asking for lovey dovey texts - I think its basic courtesy to find out how the person is doing just once over that period of time. Bearing in mind he is Mr Sociable and a total party animal - he is not the reserved type.
LOL…this is what I love about women. He didn’t contact you at all until 11:00 p.m. and you’re upset that he didn’t check to make sure that YOU are ok. Did you extend this “basic courtesy” and reach out to him during that period of time? Did you ever think during that time or afterwards whether HE was ok? Did you worry about HIS safety and text him during the day simply to ask him how HIS day is going? Not to be “lovey dovey”…but just to make sure that he is alive?
^Agree. But now I’m also wondering how often these after-work-late-night-till-almost-midnight plans of his take place? Nothing wrong with socializing with his friends but if it’s excessive then it can be worrying. And then what is excessive is subjective.
Agreed but OP is not complaining about him going out too often or staying out late all the time. Because then the conversations turns to asking him not to go out so much after work. Her only complaint seems to be that’s he’s actually going half the day without checking in and making sure SHE is ok.
Folks here have already given you some great advice.
I’d like to add that you might benefit from doing more things together. Even if it’s something as simple as going to the gym, it will help help you bond more, automatically leading to more conversation and better communication.
This is not normal. Being lovey dovey is another thing ( also important in my book but another topic). But spouses do check on each other. I have seen husbands text/ call their wives frequently after 15-20 years of marriage. How is he with you when you guys are home?
**Things at home are good but he seems to operate on a out of sight out of mind philosophy which is my main issue. **
To the poster who asked if I had tried to iniate asking how is day is going etc then the answer is yes. Even if I txt him asking how his day was, he will say yeah not bad thanks. Thats about it. Sometimes he will forget to ask me in return esp if he is busy with other activities so basically have exhausted that route
I am realising that its a lot easier to change your own expectations than someone else’s actions although its tough. I know I am not perfect either but I feel that it de motivates me to make an effort now. Its hard to make an effort when u feel resentful and its even harder when he thinks he is super great at everything.
From your posts, hubby seems to have plenty of time, energy and all to be social with his pals…yet the two of you, don’t talk much during the day and any conversation in the evening, is usually over mundane topics? How come hubby doesn’t show the same interest in you as he does to his social life? I see it as you carving some affection and him not wanting to bother with it. Like really?
If you are not having luck getting your point across to hubby, have you considered some marriage counseling perhaps to help the communication flow between you two? Perhaps a different point of view for hubby to see that he could be doing a little more to keep his lady happy?
i just have compromised now and dont expect these things from him.. 
Did you extend this “basic courtesy” and reach out to him during that period of time? Did you ever think during that time or afterwards whether HE was ok? Did you worry about HIS safety and text him during the day simply to ask him how HIS day is going? Not to be “lovey dovey”…but just to make sure that he is alive?