So I have been reading this thread with some interest because I have seen something like this with 3 doctors, all Pakistani grads. 2 are related to me and one is a cousin's buddy.
gentleman #1- keeps flunking his ecfmg or flex or whatever it is called now, he is bitter, working in a completely unrelated field in shipping. His self confidence is shot, and he has to deal with people asking him about him flunking again and again. Finally someone talked him into going to a physicians assistant training saying that atlest this way you are in your field. this is after over a decade of him just flunking and then giving up.
gentleman #2- kept flunking exams..became a monster, felt inadequate and stuff, was in everyone's business, demands were over the top. Wife was a doc who passed all her exams first go so there was some resentment there, 'friends' gave him hell that he was living off his wife's earnings. he finally got serious, got through it, is doing fantastically well.
gentleman #3- became a phlebotomist in a hospital lab, made decent money and partied while his class fellows who came over were busting their tail for exams and residencies. a few years later while he is still a phlebotomist, his pals are doing super well. is now trying to get on track.
part of this is that the dhakka pass approach in pak does not help when theya re trying to pass entrance exams here, second, the self confidence is shot, and there is even embarassment.. I mean the first 2 guys I felt for them because it was a joke that oh so and so is trying again..our community and families can be brutal as you know.
point being..as mirch also noted , first step is to counter the influence of others who are preventing them from reaching their potential, and second is to help them with confidence, stufy habits etc to really try and do it right.
Yes. So what does it take to counter the influence of others?
My advise was to first have a goal in mind. Then, to find mentorship in a person who is either in that field or if not possible, then someone who is successful in their professional career. Then, make a gameplan which inloves earning a living while working on the gameplan and finally achieving the goal. It may not be easy but there ain't no free lunch now, is there?
We've seen many international students who come here with an ambition but get side tracked during their student years and end up never completing their studies, losing their status, and eventually "slipping" because they looked for easy money. One of my husband's friend eventually ended up going back home because he wasted 3-4 precious years of his younger years this way.
I hate to be judgemental here because I'm sure they went through a lot of frustration but the thing is that it is easy to lose focus when there are so many distractions. The opportunity is the same for everyone, but one has to be willing to go all the way.
