Re: Can you guys help?
Disjointed in the sense you have used a lot of quotes to illustrate certain points but you have failed to explain them thoroughly. Also, with regards to the structure, you need to make sure there is a definitive structure- differences, similarities, semantics, purpose, nature and the different audiences.
The highlighted words are additions which I added which I thought you could add.
Furthermore, there appears to be a lack of conclusion.