Can I please get some help with invitation wording?

Re: Can I please get some help with invitation wording?

yes, spell out date and time.
half-past five in the afternoon is more formal than five thirty.

the first part is also very wordy and doesn’t flow smoothly… i would recommend this instead:
*
your name and his name
request the honour of your presence
as they celebrate the miracle of love
and join together in marriage
on etc…*

or you can flip the lines:

your name and his name
request the honour of your presence
as they join together in marriage
and celebrate the miracle of love
on etc…

or:

*your name and his name

we request the honour of your presence
at our marriage ceremony
as we celebrate the miracle of love
on etc…*