My birth story is really long … I actually wrote out every single thing that happened a few days after the delivery so that I could have a record of all the details.
I’ll edit the gross stuff:
As you know, my dad was in the ICU, so my family was all at the hospital pretty much 24/7. My dad was still in that stage where he was left cut open with sponges in him, but heavily sedated and paralyzed with drugs.
I was at the hospital, with my family, all day in the ICU. I was having contractions, even throughout the family meetings and updates with the doctors in the ICU. I kept my mouth shut through each contraction. At this stage, they were so random and I knew it wasn’t the real thing.
I went home with my sister only to have the contractions get worse in the middle of the night.
They became intense so we went to the hospital in the middle of the night.
My sister was utterly exhausted. Everybody in my family was. At this point, it had been 15 days in the hospital, no sleep, no rest, extremely volatile emotions, seeing our father suffer, etc. So she just dropped me off at the Emergency and went back home. My mom went with me to the Labour and Delivery department and my brother came along too. They were both staying in the ICU overnight, everyday.
During the examination, the first thing the doctor told me was to push as if I was pushing the baby out. I was just looking at her face. How would I know how to do that??? Then she goes to me, didn’t they teach you that in the prenatal classes? No.
Anyway, I was not dialated, but she said I was in the early stages of labour and could go home. I was having contractions 8 minutes apart but was not dialating.
So I went home and tried to sleep, which was not possible.
In the morning, still October 15th, I just walked the halls outside the ICU non-stop. I was still having contractions 8 minutes apart and they lasted me the entire day. By around 10:00 p.m., I realised o.k. nothing is happening. I am in false labour.
Went back home with my sister, once again.
I needed to vacuum. Don’t ask why. It was close to midnight. So I was vacuuming while having contractions for what I thought was a false labour. It was around midnight now, October 16th, and my sister was fast asleep. My brother and my mother were at the hospital with my father. After I finished vacuuming, I went and lay down.
Since my dad went into the hospital on October 10th, we all started living in his room. When he had his operation earlier in April, we put a single bed into the room by the big bed for my mother to sleep in. She couldn’t sleep with him incase she hit his stomach by accident and hurt him, so she would sleep on the little bed and take care of him throughout the night.
So my sister was on the little bed and I was in my dad’s bed. The contractions wouldn’t stop … they actually got stronger. The pain was really getting to me and I was making a lot of noise, but my sister was sleeping through it. Then I started getting angry with my sister for not even waking up to see what was wrong with me, but then I thought, bichari is completely exhausted, just let her sleep. 
So I went into the family room. Before my dad went into the hospital, he inflated a huge exercise ball for me, which I thought would be useful during contractions. That’s what they showed in the labour & delivery films as well as the prenatal classes. So I sat on it during the contractions and did what I was supposed to do but it wasn’t helping.
I figured I should be timing when I am having contractions to see if they are getting closer together. By this time, it was 1:00 a.m. and I was in extreme pain. I didn’t want to wake my sister up in case it was a false alarm. So I went into the living room and just dealt with it on my own.
Contractions are tolerable. Honestly, they are. I am not just saying that. They do hurt, but you can handle it if you just breath through them. The contractions were getting closer and closer together and were lasting for 30 seconds.
I woke my sister up. She was not amused. She goes to me, are you sure you are in labour? I said yes. She goes, why don’t we wait a little while in case it’s a false alarm? Bichari, she was tired and needed sleep. I told her, no, this is the real thing.
So this time she got ready to go with me. She was my coach.
So off we went to the Emergency again. By this time, it was close to 3:00 a.m.
They did a blood test and I don’t know how they took it, cause my arm was left with a massive bruise that was there for days afterwards. I couldn’t even move that arm.
So they said I was in labour and already 4 cm dialated. I was very proud of myself for making it to 4 cm with no epidural. But at this point, I said, ok, give me epidural.
The labour room was really nice. Very big and luxurious. DVD player, etc. There was a sofa which turned into a bed. My mom and my sister were with me so I told them to just lie down. They wouldn’t of course.
I was having such bad contractions at this point and they were about 3 minutes apart now. I was dialating extremely fast and the epidural doctor had not shown up yet. I was just walking around the room trying to breath through the contractions.
Then my mucus plug fell out, and i’ll edit the details as to how that happened.
Most women are lucky enough not to see their mucus plug. My labour seemed to be going by the book.
My sister told me to relax and it is normal. My sister was my rock, honestly.
I was just really grossed out. I was having yet another contraction. I was standing up by the bed and held onto my sister. We were trying an exercise we learned in the prenatal class - hold onto your partner and just sway back and forth during a contraction.
Just as I was doing that, my water broke. I was like, “ammiiiiiiiiii” and ammi goes to me, that’s nothing, a lot more is gonna come out.
My poor water broke all over my sister’s jeans. 
She told me not to worry about it and I kept apologising to her.
The nurse came running over and told me to lie down. I apologised to her for making a mess on the floor and she told me to stop being silly and try and relax. Then she goes to me, “nobody’s water breaks like that - your water breaking was sooo dramatic”. I wasn’t sure what to say other than thank you. It sounded like a compliment to me.
The epidural doctor still had not shown up at this point but the nurse was getting me ready for him. When he came, he wasn’t very nice. My contractions were coming every 2 minutes and I asked him if we could wait until my contractions were over and he said NO. I had to lean forward and hold onto a pillow.
My big fear was that I would have a contraction while he was injecting me and that was exactly what happened. I jumped, he told me off, and I forced myself to stay still during the contraction. At that point, I said to myself, ok, I can do this. I survived 4 cm without any epidural. Then I stayed completely still and relaxed my body during a tough contraction while I was being injected with epidural. I could to this!
After that, I felt a lot better. The contractions started to get weaker cause I couldn’t feel it as much. I knew every time I was having a contraction as the epidural did not numb me completely. I would feel pressure in my back every time a contraction would come but it was tolerable.
The nurse started talking to my mom and my mom told her all about my father. The nurse started balling her eyes out and she went and told everybody in the Labour and Delivery department. So they all knew what we were going through as a family and how tough this was on all of us - father in ICU, me down in Delivery.
Anyway, she was on night shift and her shift was ending. By this time, it was 6:30 a.m.
Then my two nurses came in to meet and greet me. They were super nice and were with me through the entire delivery.
Things were just going along smoothly until 10:00 a.m. The epidural had completely worn off. They gave me a little button which would pump the epidural into me anytime I felt I needed it, but it wasn’t enough. I could feel the contractions and they were REALLY BAD. I had to tolerate them for half an hour more until the doctor was able to come and give me another shot.
My sister called “S”, an extremely good friend, to come and help as my sister had to keep going between my father and me.
I was not told, but they were operating on my father that afternoon to close him up. If you recall, he was left open with sponges inside him for six days and they needed to close him. Nobody told me as they wanted me to focus on the delivery, but the entire Labour and Delivery department was aware that he was going in that afternoon.
So my friend and my sister were each beside me the entire time. My mother would come down from the ICU periodically to check up on me.
A social worker came in to see me. She put her Tim Horton’s coffee down on the table and came over to talk to me. She knew about my father too, and she goes to me that this was a really hard time for my family, father in ICU, me down in Delivery and if I ever needed to talk, I should come and see her afterwards.
At that point, I felt like I was pooing. My face went all funny and she asked me what was wrong. I said to her, “something just came out of my bum”. I cannot believe I said that. She was like, “oh, let me go and get someone”. She was all panicked, and probably grossed out. She started to run out of the room, and then came running back for her coffee and ran out again. Then the nurse came in and checked me and it was nothing. I was just having gas. 
By the afternoon, around 12:00 p.m., I was fully dialated. I dialated really fast considering this was my first baby.
So now I needed to push each time I felt a contraction.
Don’t ask me why, but I just focussed on the clock on the wall and pushed with all my might.
I had to push 3 times during each contraction. I would hold my breath and push for longer than they wanted so the nurses were proud of me.
They were so encouraging and supportive, I have to give them credit. Also, “S” and “F” were great too.
I pushed for 2 hours but my baby got stuck inside me. This is where the problems began.
Although I was dialated to 10 cm, there was an extra piece of cervix which was blocking his head and his entrance. So they had to give me medication to make that piece dissolve. In the meantime, I had to just sit back and wait.
So we waited another hour and after that, once it had dissolved, I started pushing again. By now, I think it was 3:00 p.m.
Now, the other problem I was having is that I was incapable of making any noise or get angry during the pushing stage. The nurses were encouraging me to scream my head off and get mad and just push like anything, but I couldn’t make any noise. My sister was asking me why I was acting like a Scientologist since they have their babies in silence. I don’t know why, I just could not make any noise. I would just focus on the clock and push with all my might.
After a while, they told me the baby was in stress and his oxygen and blood pressure levels were dropping cause he was completely stuck and not budging. They put the breathing mask on me and they wanted me to just breath for a while.
Honestly, I was exhausted and by now, the epidural was wearing off AGAIN. I didn’t ask for anymore cause I could already feel everything that was happening and was just dealing with it.
By now, it was around 5:30 p.m. The baby had not made much movement. I was exhausted. The doctor came in, examined me and told me that things were not looking good.
In a normal delivery, babies are head down and their bum and back is against the belly. My baby was head down, but his knees and chest was against my belly. He was coming out in the wrong position. He was also turned to an angle, so he wasn’t coming out straight - he was coming out diagnolly.
She told me that they had two options, but I had to decide fast:
- Vacuum him out
- C-section
His head was swollen and I didn’t want to vacuum him out. It sounded so unnatural and plus, “S” was warning me that since his head was swollen, then he could have some other complications (possible brain damage) down the road if he is vacuumed.
I said to go and ask my mother. I didn’t know my mom was with my father and he was being operated on. I didn’t know that is why my sister kept disappearing throughout the afternoon. I was too wrapped up in myself and my deliver to even notice.
I was thinking of just doing the “C” section. I felt so exhausted.
Then the nurse got really angry with me and started telling me off for wanting a c-section. She goes to me, do you realise it’s an operation? Why don’t you just do the vacuum?
I didn’t understand why she was so mad at me, but she knew my dad was being operated on and she knew that my mother would not be able to handle both me and my father being operated on at the same time.
I was so confused. I was still having contractions. My mom was in the room now with me. “F” and “S” were there too.
Honestly, I cannot describe what I was feeling. I didn’t want a thing to happen to my child. C-section was risky for me, long-term, and vacuuming could hurt him, long-term. I just kept thinking, if I get a c-section once, then I will need c-sections for the rest of my life for each additional child.
Then I don’t know how or where it came from, but I started pushing and screaming my head off. The doctor and nurses got all excited and said, the baby is moving. I pushed again and screamed my head off. In two pushes, he came flying out.
I honestly have no idea where the strength came from. At the same time, my father flat-lined twice. He had a second heart attack. Maybe he came and gave me his strength? I like to think he did just that.
They showed me his face as soon as he came out and I thought to myself, “gosh, he is tall”. Then I saw him all stretched out. He was sooo fair and LONG. He is one tall baby. He came out at 56 cm. He didn’t weigh as much as I thought he would weigh. Only 7 lbs 10.
So I felt everything. Gave birth naturally. Baby came out, beautiful and healthy. First thing he did was pee and poo right away while they were checking him.
Now was the horrible part I was not prepared for. The doctor needed to stitch me up. The stitches actually hurt more than the contractions. I tore badly.
By now, it was past 6:30 p.m. That same night nurse who helped me prior to me getting Epidural earlier that morning came in and told me I did an amazing job. She kept kissing my forehead and rubbing my head. She goes to me that in most cases, when a baby is in that position, they just do a c-section since majority of women they have seen cannot even deliver such babies even with epidural. So I was special.
This made me feel really good.
I had a few other doctors who were not even part of the delivery come in and tell me that I did a really good job.
My two nurses, the ones who were upset that I was going to do a c-section, also gave me huge hugs and told me I did a good job. I told the nurse to make sure she tells my husband this.
Maybe they say this to all their patients, but I honestly feel like I did do an amazing job.
Healing wise, I developed a uterus infection, seriously major sciatic nerve pain down both my legs. Actually, my legs became incredibly swollen, right down to my toes, much more than how they were during the pregnancy.
My room was literally beneath the room my father was in. It was only when I was in my room that I was told about my father.
So that’s my labour story.