I think they should ask that when they are at the girl's home and not when the girl and her family are at your place. So basically invite them at your place and then tell them you will soon come formally with meethai or something like that....lol
I mean that is how they do in movies...lol...
yeah i think you're right.. we would need to go a second time to propose.
the boys side came on 3 occasions, the 3rd time his mum gave me £51.00, one pound is some rasam......this meant they liked me and wanted the rishta.......my mum then agreed the next time they came and gave me a ring and some more money with a pound............lol.......next time my mum went to theres and she gave my husband money with a pound............lol..........and pyar......we still got those pounds!
it was funny as my mum didnt know how to say 'we agree' she was nervous and confused, they were talkig about wedding in general and my mum said yes in the process then cried for hours with the boys side there......we all had some ladoos to celebrate x
bitter sweet x
Is pathan baat pakki same as rest???
Re: "baat pakki"
Y bittersweet silsila?
[quote="chanda_kh, post:6, topic:185006"]
the guys's mom puts karey on the girl....which I think is the most appropriate piece of jewelery for the baat paki time...lol
Where r my karay :O?? lol, its more in movies.. now the New MIL r very sensible & doesnot handover their jewellery so fastly to their DILs
Re: "baat pakki"
apparently karey are not part of our family's tareeqa. so it'll be phool, mithai, and cash for her.
[quote=“White Roses, post:22, topic:185062”]
lol - come to think of it - where are mine???
Its kinda sweet for the MIL to do that if that’s their family tradition - I think given the choice my MIL might have put the ring on my finger - however I was so glad that my fiance did instead - BUT my dad was the one that presented my fiance with his watch and put it on his wrist (I know, I know 
) but I got an attack of the nerves on the day so probably best my dad did it.
I like the idea of having a letter it seems so thoughtful and of course you can keep it to show the kids/grandkids.
apparently karey are not part of our family's tareeqa. so it'll be phool, mithai, and cash for her.
as in bouquet or like flower necklace/garland type of thing?
That sounds sweet either way.
Re: "baat pakki"
If you dont plan on a huge engagement ceremony, a karrah is the most appropriate thing to give on the baat pakki.
If you later have an engagement ceremony, then u'd give a ring then. If you're just planning on baat pakki then shaadi, then a karrah and a wedding ring on the shaadi is how its done.
A baat pakki is basically an engagement if the shaadi is to follow right away. If the shaadi isn't for a while and you would like to have a ceremony before the shaadi, you'd do a mangni with the ring.
Re: "baat pakki"
the shaadi will most likely be in 2010. so i think baat pakki now, engagement next summer, and shaadi the summer after.
or we might do nikah next summer, and then shaadi (rukhsati) and valima the summer after.
they're both finishing up schooling so we don't want them to be distracted by shaadi planning.
[quote=“ariana”]
…i like the Quran khani…and the “karey” tradition… 
the guy and the girl exchange rings at the nikah…or the engagement…
My grandfathers had the Letter way…with my parents…i think its so cool!!
the shaadi will most likely be in 2010. so i think baat pakki now, engagement next summer, and shaadi the summer after. or we might do nikah next summer, and then shaadi (rukhsati) and valima the summer after.
they're both finishing up schooling so we don't want them to be distracted by shaadi planning.
YAY!
Re: "baat pakki"
i know! i'm so super excited!! iA all will go well and with minimal stress.
my nana gave us a Quran at our nikkah.
Re: "baat pakki"
Lol, Gina so do most of us! :D
Re: "baat pakki"
you know i asked my khala and she said its a hindu custom to give kara's... maybe some of our families didn't bring it over when they originally moved from india.
Re: "baat pakki"
yeah ive never heard of the kara tradition either....in our family. They usually give money to the guy or girl (maybe a gold trinket for the girl as well......). Mine was pretty simple--dinner with both families (and some extended family), MIL put dupatta on my head, then feeding mittai to both of us. We gave them perfume sets, MIL-gold earrings and suit as well......
you know i asked my khala and she said its a hindu custom to give kara's... maybe some of our families didn't bring it over when they originally moved from india.
haha :) it reminds me of the Genie in Aladdin...where the 'karas' represent slavery to the master...haha...
anyway...i am not sure..i guess culturally speaking we all have different ways of going through the rishta process... :) its so cool though!!
I need to claim my kara's!
go get em girl!! :)
Re: "baat pakki"
The karrah that was originally supposed to be given was actually an heir loom. It was supposed to be something passed down from MIL to DIL for ages. And so when the new DIL would be chosen, the MIL would take the karrah off of her wrist and put it on the new DIL. Now the question when you have more than 1 DIL. Haha.. Well, Karrahs were usually given in pairs. And in sets of 2s or 4s. So the MIL usually had a set of 2s or 4s to distribute to her DILs when they married into the family. However, the oldest baho was given preference -- Bari baho!:p