Am i ungrateful?

Re: Am i ungrateful?

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and women always are up to our expectations?
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aur nahi toh kya :D

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or maybe we're just really tolerant
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nahi aap logon ko complain kertey huey sharam aati hai

Re: Am i ungrateful?

With all the heels and make ups and those uncomfortable clothes they are bound to complain :chai: Thank God for cricket!

Re: Am i ungrateful?

:nahi:

Re: Am i ungrateful?

Im in a relationship that had started of exactly like that his love seemed to be pulling me down i felt i could never be who i am cuz somehow his love was like always around me than i decided to breakout of it and got into an even uglier relationship where the guy dint have any love to offer. In this world to find someone that loved u from all ur heart n soul is hard infact extremely hard.Today he gives u all his attention n u feel hes pulling u down tom when he gives u none ull feel ur not loves i have been in both situations.Remind urself everyday someone looks at u,someone is there to talk to u who wants to listen to u,there is someone who notices tht u r the best thing in his life thts y he wants to be around u...its perspective!

I went back to him..ya the same obsessive,possessive boyfriend who i thought dint love but controlled.Being with him for 10years now Mashallah i know there are much worse guys out there & if someone loves u more than them self its not obsessive...different ppl show love different ways...embrace it & njoy tht someone wants u all the time! there can be worse scenarios trust me...its just the matter of perspective!

Hope this helps :)

ditto :k:

Re: Am i ungrateful?

i don't think you're ungrateful ... obsessive behavior can be extremely annoying and strip you of your personality. i talk from experience ... luckily i made the right choice of pulling myself out of that relationship .... the only difference between me and you is ... you went ahead into a marriage (ii dont know if you knew him before) ... i pulled out before even touching marriage.
even before we were married he was so annoying about everything ... and the same thing, you dont give me enough time. my personal social life was taking toll ... it felt like he was spying on me ... he knew everything about me and my friends without me ever knowing until very later ... he knew where my friends live (!!!!!!) he recorded his conversations with my father that he used to have (my father wanted to have a personal meeting with him so he could tell what i am and if he is ready for me :P ) ... he used to criticise my friends that they arent true ... make me feel bad about how my family thinks i am horrible ... save online coversations with my sister ....
but because i always stood up for all this crap that he did, we had huge fights ... ultimately i just cut myself rom his life .. and told my parents this is ridiculous and i am out .... and i know how it is when you are sorta engaged and your family knows bla bla ... and that mangni tootna is not the best thing in the world ... but neither is going through a suffocating marriage ... i am so happy of my decision ... and till today (3 years since then now) he is still trying to track me down ... but i am out of pakistan now, doing my masters and FRICKING HAPPY AND WITH A NICE GENUINE GUY .. getting married in december inshallah.

Re: Am i ungrateful?

im sorry farah but ur guy was a physco the guy tht she has written abt dosnt seem tht drastic he jus wants her attention.recording messages,stalking ppl goes to a whole new level of physconess !!!

Re: Am i ungrateful?

Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Perhaps you 2 need some time from each other. Its healthy and perfectly normal to want to spend some time apart but don't forget at the end of the day HE IS YOUR HUSBAND and YOU ARE HIS WIFE.

Re: Am i ungrateful?

Sounds like he’s not giving you space, and sounds like if you asked him for space and tried to have a reasonable discussion, he’d go into PTV-DRAMA mode. Avoid the drama, make some excuse to go visit your parents or take an hour out and go to the gym or get a job or something that will involve you being away from him. You might find him more tolerable the hours you do spend with him then. I wouldn’t address the situation at the moment, because he’s going to get all upset and then there will be more fights.

Also, another trick is to find something he likes to do and send him off on it - like does he like fishing? Suggest he go on a fishing trip with friends, or suggest he go to the masjid and read 5 namazein with the jamaat. That’ll free up a lot of time. :hehe:

Re: Am i ungrateful?

Have you ever tried to actually talk to him about how he is making you feel? Does he know that his actions are suffocating you?

If not, you have to communicate with him and tell him how you feel. Plan a meal in a restaurant or something and try to bring the subject up. If in a crowded place he is less likely t "flip out". Start by telling him that you do love him (if you indeed do) and tell him that you appreciate everything he does for you but... and then explain the "but"..

Men are sensitive creatures and can get all defensive and irrational if their ego gets dented or if they feel they are being criticised. Try and get it clear in your head a few days before which specific issues/instances you most want resolving and think about how you can explain this to me. Plan what you're going to say and try and preempt his responses and questions.

I'm sure if he knew where he was going wrong and knew how to fix thinsg, he would in an instant and things would soon enough be better between the two of you..

Communication is the and key and you have to talk to him clamly and patiently to address and resolve these issues...

Good luck to the both of you..!

thank you all so much for your advise and suggestions, sorry i cannot answer all but here is few:

i do namaz and nafal on a daily basis without fail
i give sadka and resort to reading Quran for patience
i have talked it through with him in the past, sometimes in arguments, sometimes in a very serious and mature way.
truth is i cannot go away due to commitments at home (also he would freak out)
he has most times agreed to give me my space, but it never lasts long, he goes back to what comes naturally to him.

still feel pretty low, however now gonna start to manage it. truth is he's not a bad guy, but as someone mentioned in a earlier post, he's very PTV drama, tears, tantrums the lot, and thats what i just can't stand, but the minute i dont entertain it, its because im cold and i dont care!!!!

i want to say a huge thank you to SSH, i went on the website you suggested and your right it has answered a lot of questions

Re: Am i ungrateful?

Love him the way he loves you.....

Re: Am i ungrateful?

^ Psycho lovin'