You are merely frustrated of your past failures. Your misery is creating a negative view of those that love you. If you are meant to chase someone, find someone worth that chase. If you force this situation, misery will follow. It’s better to be short term miserable now, let go of the crush, find someone suitable rather than fighting the world and suffering a lifetime of regret and remorse for someone who will never be the partner you deserve.
I have been able to reestablish contact with her after a two month hiatus.
I have even told her about having Asperger’s Syndrome/Autism Spectrum Disorder to which she responded very supportingly and her golden words were that a person isn’t defined by whatever they suffer from but by what kinds of people they are deep down. I have the ability to reach out to her and chat with her, overall she is being very nice to me from the kindness of her heart and the one thing that is really boosting my confidence is the fact that is the first girl i have really liked who has actually been really nice, kind to me and has responded to me in comparison to other girls in my life who just ignored me and treated me as if i am not even worth being seen in public with or talking too.
But i am unable to say the magic words to her. I can’t put my finger around what is exactly holding me back. But i do know from official sources that she is single at present, she wants to pursue higher education and is saving up for it, she is scared and nervous about committing to someone, she is perhaps in a uncertain phase in her life and perhaps feel she may not be able to deal with the challenges of being married yet.
I am debating how to express my interest in her without looking desperate, needy and as someone who only cares about what he wants and not considerate towards whatever is going on in her life or her life goals.
You are wasting way too much time on one person. And in the end she does seem to be want to commit any way and least bit to you. Man just say it and then if she says no, move and look for someone else.