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  • We're you forced into a career by your parents?

    We're you or no? Did your parents encourage you to pursue a certain career or did you choose what you wanted to do in life?

  • #2
    I was'nt forced into it, i was subconsciously 'groomed' into being a doctor. My father and his father were doctors, from the very beginning everyone around me, my parents, grandparents, uncles, aunties, neighbours, even sabzi and fruit thella wala always called me 'chote dr sahab', and so I thought I was born to become a doctor. I was not given any exposure to any other profession, nor anyone ever suggested I could try my luck in some other field. I was very good at fine arts, but nobody actually encouraged me into developing my skills or experience in that field. Even i at that stage could not figure out what my natural talent was?

    In the end, I wont be ungrateful towards my patents, I know they wanted the best for me (and also for themselves), I wont complain about what i became. I know I could have been happier in some of the other fields had i chosen them out of interest and personal choice, but i also know I might have done terribly poorly as well and been living an ordinary life trying to ends meet on a daily basis. It can work both ways you know.
    I'm Not The Messiah, I'm A Very Naughty Boy

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    • redvelvet
      redvelvet commented
      Editing a comment
      I've often wondered whether you always wanted to be a doctor and what you'd be if you weren't. I couldn't arrive at a conclusion on my own and I'm not sure why I hesitated in asking. I remember that years ago my mom had remarked that many doctors excel at the fine arts and that their own paintings can be found in their clinics. I had never asked her at the time, but now I wonder how many such cases Mama had come across. And I bet you that if I were to bring it up...she won't remember having ever said that. But since then, (as silly as it may sound) I do pay more attention to the signatures on paintings in a clinic.

      I wasn't forced into my profession either. But then again, my field is not one that Desi parents encourage their children to pursue in the first place. My dad wanted me to become an environmental engineer. Even to this day I fail to keep a straight face when I recall that memory. And today it came to mind while I was in class and I had to stifle a laugh. My dad has a very keen (sometimes uncanny) intuition with strangers and so I expected that he'd be even more cognizant of my own strengths and weaknesses. Hence, it came as a huge surprise when he suggested engineering . Papa's source of inspiration was his friend's daughter who was several years older than me and also happened to be much more farmabardaar than me. I vaguely remember hearing a story about how uncle and his daughter had met with an adviser (at either high school or uni) and the latter had inquired what career path she planned to pursue ...to which she dutifully responded, "Ask my dad." I don't know if there was a moral to the story () but I definitely sensed the thinly veiled jab of the comparison it held. I loved the fine arts as well. While I could not draw from imagination, I could copy very well and I had a strong aesthetic sense. My mom was more aware of this and she wasn't averse to me exploring the fine arts as a career path, but she also understood that the term "starving artist" was no joke. Papa scoffed at the idea and in the end he had a half victory of sorts. Of my own accord I had dropped the idea after having clung to it for years. He wasn't thrilled about teaching either, but he found it a less precarious path than the arts.

  • #3
    I wasn't forced either but I had huge gaps in my understanding of my chosen field. If given a chance I'll probably choose it again but avoid the mistakes I made along the way.

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    • #4
      Nope No one forced any carreer, I choose it on my own, my Father made sure I learned my language skills well!

      only thing I would have loved to do was to drive a Train, now that sounds like a lot of fun! never got a chance to do that
      We don't see things as they are; we see things as we are!

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      • #5
        Yes but I've internalized it and have no other goal or backup plan.

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        • #6
          redvelvet I had a feeling you were into fine arts, writing well itself is a form of fine arts and you are an accomplished writer.

          Coming back to your story and its comparison, i wouldn't say i was very obedient, but from a practical point of view, I probably had no other option. I never developed any interest in engineering, or business or other fields. Funnily after specialising, from no where I had this immense feeling of missing out on so many things, being part of a very sophisticated highly specialised field with little if any inter-transferrable skills. Yet I developed interest in business, becoming an medical entrepreneur, and also developed fondness for machines, well at least all the funky stuff like robotic window cleaner, robotic vacuum cleaner, self-propelling lawn mower etc type of things that make my life simple. Of course you need money to start a business or buy those gadgets that came from the profession that my parents (?or I) chose for me?

          In the end I'd cede my naivety in the beginning might have been a blessing in disguise!
          Last edited by NavAhmed; 2 weeks ago.
          I'm Not The Messiah, I'm A Very Naughty Boy

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          • redvelvet
            redvelvet commented
            Editing a comment
            But MashAllah se you put that interest in business to use and you've been successful with it. And the fondness for machines doesn't seem all that strange. It makes sense; it still deals with anatomy ...albeit of a more mechanical nature. It also ties in with your ability to assemble things at home. You've an understanding of parts and pieces and how they come together to make a finely-tuned whole. And that's always been a foreign language for me.

            Growing up, my sister would turn to me for help with essays and creative writing assignments. My dad once said that I write well, although to my knowledge he hasn't really seen (not closely or in-depth) anything that I've written for school (neither creative nor academic). He will occasionally ask me to proofread emails for him. Come to think of it, I've had several people ask me to do that, lol. Years ago, I had written a story for children and I shared it with a coworker who used to work as the media specialist at a former school. I was surprised when she urged me to show it to the president of the Book Fairs department of a prominent publishing company. She personally knew the man and we both met him in person. He gave my manuscript to an editor who told me that the story is a marketable one, MashAllah, but that I needed to make some revisions. I made the revisions, Nav, ...but for some reason....I never resubmitted the story to the same editor or publishing company. And I don't have the answer to why I did that. But that incident is what led me to research the publishing process. I spent hours in the bookstore poring over the Writers Market and jotting down notes and names of literary agents and the various manuscript requirements for applicable publishing houses. I even mailed my manuscript to a few, but eventually I gave up. I got caught up in teaching and other things. But it was the first time that I did something concrete with an interest; to where it wasn't just confined to dream-vapor. I still have the same manuscript. Years have passed since its last revision and even now I still feel that it needs a few changes. Sometimes I think I should go ahead and make those changes and at other times I feel I should scratch it altogether and come up with something completely different. It's been a fantasy of mine to be a published author (dare to dream?)....and I've even toyed with the idea of writing under an alias. I like my privacy....I've always liked having secrets that are all my own that even near and dear ones don't have a share in...it's something I haven't yet outgrown.

          • Southie
            Southie commented
            Editing a comment
            Just do it, redvelvetu

        • #7
          redvelvet I will say do publish the first story, I am 100% sure it will be brilliant. I do not know why you left it in the middle, you should have really focused on that one, no point wasting so much hard work, but you could still submit the revised version, or at least show it to a few publishers, you never know it might just work out well for you. Its up to you want to write with an alias, and preserve your privacy, but do make use of your literary talent and have it recognised
          I'm Not The Messiah, I'm A Very Naughty Boy

          Comment


          • #8
            Alhamdulillah, my parents never forced me to get into a career they wanted or any other thing wutsoever.

            But man, now i think, may be i could have become something better had they forced me to. Just wonder.
            We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star." -- Stephen Hawking

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            • Shareefbacha95
              Shareefbacha95 commented
              Editing a comment
              What is ur career

            • SID_NY
              SID_NY commented
              Editing a comment
              I studied Finance and then gave it up altogether to land in IT

          • #9
            so redvelvet is a teacher !?

            Those leftist lunatics! They all need an education from Trump University
            Say no to 'islamofascism'..

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            • #10
              not really, i didn't know any better what i was good at or wanted to do or interested me........wasn't good at maths or remembering names of bones and stuff......so engineering and doctor couldn't work.......so i went into accountancy being known as a dheet/chichhar person who would keep doing it untill success.

              anyhow, i am not very passionate about my field of work, although i am good at it........but meh......making ends meet is more important here than 'follow your dreams' coz a man got a 101 responsibilities.....
              Marr te gaye aaN ........per Chassss aaa gai A

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              • #11
                My father is an engineer at heart who studied B-com. Growing up I had a natural tendency towards engineering which made my dad very happy so I took more interest in it. Opening my toys to see what was inside, opening up and fixing broken irons, toasters and clocks was something I liked doing and thought about going into engineering. We had almost never had to get an electrician or plumber to work on our home since I could fix it. Wasn't too sure if I wanted to be in mechanical or electrical.

                When I went to school robotics had not shown up in schools in Pakistan yet. After intermediate (that would be 12th grade for folks that didn't get education in Pakistan) I had changed my mind and separated myself from engineering and was thinking about going into studying business (My family has been in the iron (sarya) manufacturing and sales(also I was working in the business at the time) I thought I would be better off helping the family. At the same time one of cousins opened up a computer shop (this was the time when a 284 computer used to be for Rs. 25,000). He also setup a training center inside his shop and asked me (Since there is a long time between inter and going to college) to take a class in programming and no one would taking classes and he was paying the teacher for nothing. I took 2 classes (DOS 6.22 and FoxPro Programming) and fell in love with it. Next thing I know I have given up studying business and went to school for Bachelor in computer science (although I was still working at our business during the day and studied at night). Been doing software engineering since then and never once regretted my decision. You know how people say do something that you love and you would never work a day in your life? That is true for me.

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                • decentGuy
                  decentGuy commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Thanks for taking us down the memory lane. By the way what was 284?

              • #12
                I never wanted to be a fast bowler. But how can one disobey one?s parents?

                So here I am.
                Why isn't the Dividend story among the featured threads?

                Comment


                • redvelvet
                  redvelvet commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Rotfl. Chalo at least that was a change from the 6-pack.
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