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Should I feel proud or guilty?

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  • Should I feel proud or guilty?

    because my husband before our marriage was going to marry someone else, a really good, humble, religious, educated girl but didn't 'cause he preferred me over her?

    So how should I look at it? Should I feel guilty and sorry?
    “I'm quite illiterate, but I read a lot. ”

  • #2
    Re: Should I feel proud or guilty?

    how would you describe yourself in comparison to that woman.

    On the other hand..to be honest destiny does play a hand in deciding who we end up marrying. So it had to be you. And psyah bhai obviously liked you alot. So there's no point in feeling guilty at all.
    Train this chaos, turn it into light . . .

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    • #3
      Re: Should I feel proud or guilty?

      Originally posted by Enigmatic View Post
      how would you describe yourself in comparison to that woman.

      On the other hand..to be honest destiny does play a hand in deciding who we end up marrying. So it had to be you. And psyah bhai obviously liked you alot. So there's no point in feeling guilty at all.
      I think she's a much better person than me and that makes me feel awkward.
      “I'm quite illiterate, but I read a lot. ”

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      • #4
        Re: Should I feel proud or guilty?

        You should be proud of the fact that he chose you over the girl YOU (not him) think could have been his better partner.
        Sometimes quiet is violent...

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        • #5
          Re: Should I feel proud or guilty?

          Originally posted by hareem01 View Post
          I think she's a much better person than me and that makes me feel awkward.
          tou ab kara do doosri shaadi aur aapnay aap per proud ho jao
          Majbori ka dosra naam 'Shukriya'

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          • #6
            Re: Should I feel proud or guilty?

            wise ppl dont live in the past, instead they extract good out of it and apply it in their present to make a better future.
            he could marry someone (that could be your alter ego), but He Didn't.
            for a change you can also act good, humble, religious, educated girl and still be an exciting, fun, full of life woman.
            "There are two rules for ultimate success in life: #1. Never tell everything you know." ;)

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            • #7
              Re: Should I feel proud or guilty?

              Originally posted by hareem01 View Post
              I think she's a much better person than me and that makes me feel awkward.
              You know what my hubby had been shown potential rishtas for about 4-5 years each time he visited Pakistan. And he was thoroughly fed up of all of them. And some of them were like really good looking way better girls. He ended up saying 'yes' to me just after a visit. And I felt really awkward about that in my initial engagement phase. I kept thinking that am not as good as others and that he might have made a hasty mistake
              Train this chaos, turn it into light . . .

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              • #8
                Re: Should I feel proud or guilty?

                Originally posted by Theorist View Post
                You should be proud of the fact that he chose you over the girl YOU (not him) think could have been his better partner.
                I never met her until last year when we moved in this area and found out that she lived quite close so we became sort of friends....she married someone from Pakistan and her life seems to be a struggle coz she has to work and everything, she has kids too but she doesn't seem so happy about her marriage and each time I meet her I get this guilty feeling inside me.....like I snatched her dreams from her.
                “I'm quite illiterate, but I read a lot. ”

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Should I feel proud or guilty?

                  Originally posted by Enigmatic View Post
                  You know what my hubby had been shown potential rishtas for about 4-5 years each time he visited Pakistan. And he was thoroughly fed up of all of them. And some of them were like really good looking way better girls. He ended up saying 'yes' to me just after a visit. And I felt really awkward about that in my initial engagement phase. I kept thinking that am not as good as others and that he might have made a hasty mistake
                  hehe....it all comes down to the kismet I guess.
                  “I'm quite illiterate, but I read a lot. ”

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                  • #10
                    Re: Should I feel proud or guilty?

                    sorry? might be -

                    guilty? no. I dont see any reason to be guilty on things which are not in person's own control.
                    Goyan keshk aqbat taskeen ast...Awal shor ast aqbat namkeen ast
                    Har chanz aasiyat sang zeerey...Ee surat-e-beqrar barbin ast

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                    • #11
                      Re: Should I feel proud or guilty?

                      Originally posted by hareem01 View Post
                      I never met her until last year when we moved in this area and found out that she lived quite close so we became sort of friends....she married someone from Pakistan and her life seems to be a struggle coz she has to work and everything, she has kids too but she doesn't seem so happy about her marriage and each time I meet her I get this guilty feeling inside me.....like I snatched her dreams from her.
                      you didn't exactly snatch her dreams from her. Who knows if she had married your husband instead of you, she could have had a worse life in terms of compatibility, understanding and alot more things. Everything happens for a reason and that too the best one. So instead of feeling awkward you should just pray for her happiness and be thankful for such a wonderful family Allah has given you MA
                      Train this chaos, turn it into light . . .

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                      • #12
                        Re: Should I feel proud or guilty?

                        How many years ago was this? If its more than 2 years you are wasting your time thinking about retarded stuff.
                        You can't fix stupid. So might as well troll them!

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                        • #13
                          Re: Should I feel proud or guilty?

                          ^urgh....I'm friend with that girl now and I know she's not happy....but yeah I can't do anything about it now.
                          “I'm quite illiterate, but I read a lot. ”

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                          • #14
                            Re: Should I feel proud or guilty?

                            as my mom would say, matches are made in heaven!! you two were destined for each other, no matter what!!Allah Taals is the Best of Planners so He planned it all for you two, it's not like people have much control over such things!!!

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                            • #15
                              Re: Should I feel proud or guilty?

                              You should feel lucky and blessed about your marriage, and if you think she's unhappy, make dua for her.

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