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  • #61
    Originally posted by Bobby1 View Post

    Differences are okay but compelling the other to live life as per your views is considered abuse in our laws. If your wife wants to wear western clothes and you make her feel that she is immoral for doing that, then that is abuse.
    Plenty of Western men don't do that?

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    • #62
      Originally posted by decentGuy View Post
      Plenty of Western men don't do that?
      Then plenty of western women leave them and take their house and the men drown their sorrows in beer and loneliness. Single women can cope better than single men. I don't know of a single western man who dictates to his wife what she can or can't wear.

      PS in western households, women dictate the morality.

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      • #63
        Originally posted by Bobby1 View Post

        Then plenty of western women leave them and take their house and the men drown their sorrows in beer and loneliness. Single women can cope better than single men. I don't know of a single western man who dictates to his wife what she can or can't wear.
        That is why there are so many divorces and lots of short term relationships. Those who don't want that, don't follow your line of thinking.

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        • #64
          Originally posted by decentGuy View Post

          That is why there are so many divorces and lots of short term relationships. Those who don't want that, don't follow your line of thinking.
          The rate of Muslim divorce in US is around 50 percent. Many women are forced to stay in abusive relationships back home because of financial dependence and societal pressures. Living like a maid in a loveless, unappreciative marriage is not victory. I know scores of financially independent women here living a happy fulfilling life.

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          • #65
            Originally posted by Bobby1 View Post

            The rate of Muslim divorce in US is around 50 percent. Many women are forced to stay in abusive relationships back home because of financial dependence and societal pressures. Living like a maid in a loveless, unappreciative marriage is not victory. I know scores of financially independent women here living a happy fulfilling life.
            Muslim divorce rate is less than that. Comparing routine fights between couples to some extreme abusive relationship is wrong. Divorce has really bad effects on all involved. Its not some quick fix.

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            • #66
              As ****ty as it feels to have full blown fights early on in a marriage, unfortunately, they happen. It sounds like both you and your wife are able to chat about the fights afterward. That is amazing! Do more of that! Use the fights as a learning opportunity to learn about the other person. And then once you understand their need, try and abide by it. After giving it genuine thought, if you think you can not, then talk to her about it, negotiate, reach a solution that actually works for both of you.

              The idea is to really listen to the other person and trust when they say they need xyz, and not minimize it or dismiss it. There would be times you would agree with them and times you wouldn't, and that's when negotiation is needed. The idea also is to bring yourself fully and truly to the table. I don't think any relationship requires us to be as present and fully ourselves than our marriages.

              My husband and I had pretty big fights in the first year. In the post-fight chats, we ended up learning that there are more dimensions to our emotional sensitivity than we had previously encountered, and that we both pretty much react the same way when emotional. With an understanding of the other person's inner world - and often some rules in place - it can become much, much easier to do marriage. Thankfully, now we have reached a place where we don't have to fight to get our needs met/point across.

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              • #67
                Attention seeker alert !!! I guess your queen wife and your disciplined children don't have time for you after all these years of serving as a doormat for them, and you have to vent out your frustration somewhere so keep it up man this is pretty entertaining.

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                • #68
                  Originally posted by Abbasilk View Post
                  Attention seeker alert !!! I guess your queen wife and your disciplined children don't have time for you after all these years of serving as a doormat for them, and you have to vent out your frustration somewhere so keep it up man this is pretty entertaining.
                  I spent a lot of time with my children, I make breakfast for them, pack them lunch, drive them to school and to their athletic practices, driving them to training is awesome as we talk a lot during the drive. They are very open with me and discuss everything with me. I like multi tasking also so when I am driving back from work an hour drive I call each one of them from the car phone and ask how their day was.

                  During thanks giving I cooked 2 turkeys, one Italian and other tandoori style and prime rib roast with garlic mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce and garlic bread and had children's friends over also and had an amazing time. I take my wife travelling every year and we go for walks, hiking, camping together. Going camping with her is amazing. I tell her how much I appreciate her and love her several times a day, everyday for 21 years. Every time I talk to my children I tell them I love them, whenever my children see me they hug me.

                  I drove Safy to his Uni in the resort and we hung out 24/7 for several days. I am not in an ego battle with my wife, I will do whatever it takes to make my family happy and successful. There are other ways to prove your manliness rather than intimidating wife and children, we fix things at home, do yard work, plant trees do well in our profession, put a shine on the car and that is what is considered manly here.

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                  • The Last Straw
                    The Last Straw commented
                    Editing a comment
                    That was a very heee fun read. But truth is stranger than fiction and I think the real story is too much different

                • #69
                  Originally posted by Abbasilk View Post
                  Attention seeker alert !!! I guess your queen wife and your disciplined children don't have time for you after all these years of serving as a doormat for them, and you have to vent out your frustration somewhere so keep it up man this is pretty entertaining.
                  Also I believe in unconditional love and would expect nothing in return for whatever I do, love is not a transaction. I am very comfortable in my own skin.

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                  • The Last Straw
                    The Last Straw commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Maa sadkay. Joonda reh.

                    Vutt kind of cheap transaction is this vhaire you unconditionally become wife's loving maid and in return you are sitting hours and hours behind a computer screen trying to convince so many anjaan loki that your wife is damn lucky to have you?

                    Why your wife no steal you away from computer and cradle you in her arms? Go to wife and maybe she give you lollipop for being a varry varry good and obedient boy.

                  • Sheeda Pistol
                    Sheeda Pistol commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Why hide behind a multinick to say what you just said The Last Straw

                  • Cashmere
                    Cashmere commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Sheeda Pistol Sadly, the multi just gave himself away. Note: gender neutral statement

                • #70
                  I also spend too much time boasting, tooting my horn, making g*****ose claims, comparing others to myself, and insulting people. The voices inside my head are very open with me and discuss everything with me. I love multi tasking also so when I am posting about all the wonderful things about my life, in the same breath I also point out all that is wrong in everyone else's life as though I witnessed it with my own two eyes.

                  For me, Thanksgiving takes place everyday because I thank myself for being such an awesome gift to mankind. As gratitude I cook a convoluted jungli khichri that is chock full of chatpatti khush fahmiyan that can be found only in my own mind's spice rack and is not mirrored in anyone else's impressions of me. I like to walk through valley of lies, hike through the forest of imagination, and camp for long days in the isolated deserts of conceit. Going camping with myself is amazing. I tell myself how much I appreciate myself and love myself several times a day, everyday for 21 years. Every time I talk to myself, I tell myself that I love me. Whenever my reflection sees me, I hug myself.

                  I drove Saif Ali Khan to his Uni on a unicorn and we hung out in our air-castle 24/6 for several days. I am not in an ego battle with my wife. That's because she killed my ego with a chappal and then some bug spray. After that near brush with death, I will do whatever it takes to my femmileee happy and successful.
                  The one that broke the camel's back. Watch out! :snooty:

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                  • #71
                    Originally posted by Bobby1 View Post

                    Also I believe in unconditional love and would expect nothing in return for whatever I do, love is not a transaction. I am very comfortable in my own skin.
                    I have 4 assistants at work so until something out of ordinary happens I have time at work to kill. She has also just started her real estate career so she stays pretty busy.

                    Comment


                    • #72
                      Originally posted by The Last Straw View Post
                      I also spend too much time boasting, tooting my horn, making g*****ose claims, comparing others to myself, and insulting people. The voices inside my head are very open with me and discuss everything with me. I love multi tasking also so when I am posting about all the wonderful things about my life, in the same breath I also point out all that is wrong in everyone else's life as though I witnessed it with my own two eyes.

                      For me, Thanksgiving takes place everyday because I thank myself for being such an awesome gift to mankind. As gratitude I cook a convoluted jungli khichri that is chock full of chatpatti khush fahmiyan that can be found only in my own mind's spice rack and is not mirrored in anyone else's impressions of me. I like to walk through valley of lies, hike through the forest of imagination, and camp for long days in the isolated deserts of conceit. Going camping with myself is amazing. I tell myself how much I appreciate myself and love myself several times a day, everyday for 21 years. Every time I talk to myself, I tell myself that I love me. Whenever my reflection sees me, I hug myself.

                      I drove Saif Ali Khan to his Uni on a unicorn and we hung out in our air-castle 24/6 for several days. I am not in an ego battle with my wife. That's because she killed my ego with a chappal and then some bug spray. After that near brush with death, I will do whatever it takes to my femmileee happy and successful.
                      Safy is way better looking and fitter. Saif Ali Khan is a short manlet.

                      Comment


                      • #73
                        Originally posted by The Last Straw View Post
                        Maa sadkay. Joonda reh.

                        Vutt kind of cheap transaction is this vhaire you unconditionally become wife's loving maid and in return you are sitting hours and hours behind a computer screen trying to convince so many anjaan loki that your wife is damn lucky to have you?

                        Why your wife no steal you away from computer and cradle you in her arms? Go to wife and maybe she give you lollipop for being a varry varry good and obedient boy.
                        She gave me 3 most amazing children, each one I could give my life for millions of time so I will never ever ask her for anything. Whatever she does is bonus. I was raised in a home where women were not required to cook and clean, I had a maid for her priorly and now I feel it spoils children so we don't keep maids.

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                        • #74
                          Can someone give this guy the husband and the father of the century award so he could sleep at night?

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                          • redvelvet
                            redvelvet commented
                            Editing a comment
                            It's not gonna work.

                            A couple of weeks ago a few members agreed and even praised Bob for his ideas and since then he's been repeating the same notions with even more fervor. Even in this thread of yours, you must have seen that a few members supported Bob's views/assumptions about your marriage and it only led him to repeating them over again. The point is.....praising/rewarding him will not make him cease. It only encourages him. I

                            Conversely, even disagreeing with him does not make him cease. The more vehemently you disagree, the harder he'll try.

                            So this can only mean that the mentality (prejudices, etc etc) is very deep-rooted within him. Throughout the years he's been suspected of trolling. Bob's no troll. There's wayyyy too much consistency in his views for him to be a troll. Whether or not details of his life are true is debatable. However, he legit believes in his views and no matter how much you try to point out the flaws in his reasoning, you will be met with not only resistance but a mind-boggling inability to understand basic logic. And you've already seen that for yourself.

                        • #75
                          Originally posted by Abbasilk View Post
                          Can someone give this guy the husband and the father of the century award so he could sleep at night?

                          Most of the Canadian fathers I know are much better parents and husbands, Evans parents went with him to Portugal training camp and to Nationals in Quebec and we didn't. some parents help drive the boat trailer all the way from Alberta to Florida and Harris has to get rides with Jasons parents to go to competition. Just trying to expose you to a society which is one of the best in gender equality.

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