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  • In Laws

    Are inlaws normally indifferent and just not concerned about getting to know much about you at all, or if they dont seem to really want to get to know you beforehand

    is this pretty much a red flag .
    β€œIf you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.” ~

  • #2
    May be they trust their son's choice a bit much?
    We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star." -- Stephen Hawking

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    • #3
      The coming together of two people and their families is a huge deal, so I don't think that indifference is a normal response. Do you think that maybe the in-laws are just more reserved by nature?

      You can try from your end (and within reason) to bond with them. If the guy that you're marrying is fair and supportive and if you'll be living separately from in-laws, then that will makes things easier for you. Sometimes the red flags or people's colors don't emerge until after the wedding. At that point, in order to maintain your sanity, I think that all you can do is to be cordial and pick and choose your battles which, of course, is always going to be easier said than done. But if this rishta hasn't been finalized yet, then I would suggest that you do istikhara regularly until you arrive at a conclusion. If this rishta is good for you, it will be facilitated for you and if it isn't, then it will be removed from your path. Especially when in doubt...do istikhara. And have faith in Allah.
      I think that if you let me....I'd treat you like the sky
      I'd join up all your insecurities...And bundle all your flaws
      I'd create a new constellation....And search for it endlessly

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      • #4
        for example how are they indifferent? if they don't talk about your favorite candie........thats different
        Marr te gaye aaN ........per Chassss aaa gai A

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        • redvelvet
          redvelvet commented
          Editing a comment
          Okay that made me laugh. Beta aap ki favorite toffee kaun si hai? Hum yeh jaanay bina nahi karain ge yahan pe rishta.

          And it's candy...not candie!!!

      • #5
        Yes if beta tells them already then they are indifferent
        β€œThe keys to the life of the heart lie in reflecting upon the Quran, being humble before Allah in secret, and leaving sins.” Ibn Qayyim al Jawziyyah

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        • #6
          It?s too much to expect them to add you in their WhatsApp group. That?s pretty much the only way of communication known to the modern man.
          Grizzly bear

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          • #7
            Sometimes they mostly care about what you have to offer rather than who you are, like green card, dowry, influence, if you can be a skilled servant, cook, cleaner or caregiver..who you are, what you like, what you dont like, your emotion etc are not that important.

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            • #8
              yes...in most cases they are. Beta kaam kare toh mehnat..bahu kaam kare toh "toh kya hua - with rolling eyes"
              Beta shopping kare to he is bechara..kabhi kuch nai leta..bahu kamake khud k liye shopping kare toh she is spendthrift. grrrr....

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