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  • ?New? Money

    What has your guys? experience been with people who have grown up poor and then became well off later on in life vs. people who grew up financially comfortable and stayed at the same level?
    Who have you found to be better in terms of money management, self control and long term financial planning?
    I?ve been thinking about this more and more recently and the more I observe people, the more it seems that people who suddenly get money (either through their spouses or through their children) don?t have any idea how to budget/save or make financially prudent investments. Not saying everyone is like that, but in a lot of cases these people seem to care more about what other people think and tend to spend lavishly to show off or overcompensate.

    Thoughts?

  • #2
    My experience of money is, the more you spend it, the more of it comes to you, the less you spend, the less you get....
    I'm Not The Messiah, I'm A Very Naughty Boy

    Comment


    • Siren
      Siren commented
      Editing a comment
      I disagree. It may be true for you but isn’t generally the case. If that were the case no one would ever go bankrupt. Unless you’re talking charitable spending which is totally different.

  • #3
    It depends. The ones that struggled and worked hard to acquire the money, they may have a bit of an ego but they are pretty good at finance. The ones who married into it, from what I have seen, they tend to show off more but of course there are always exceptions.
    Anything worth doing is worth doing well.

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    • #4
      Depends on who has earned it, and how was it earned. The one who has worked hard to earn it, will know how to spend it as well.
      Jatke ki kamai is spent in one jatka and the one who has only acquired it through inheritance or marriage or gift, may tend to spend it unwisely or just for show off.

      But in some cases, ppl who earn it through hard work are also foolish enough to spend it just for show off.

      Comment


      • Siren
        Siren commented
        Editing a comment
        True. Money doesn’t hold value if you didn’t earn it. Makes sense why so many men in Pakistan complain about their housewives overspending on designer clothing and jewellery

    • #5
      Originally posted by Siren View Post
      I?ve been thinking about this more and more recently and the more I observe people, the more it seems that people who suddenly get money (either through their spouses or through their children) don?t have any idea how to budget/save or make financially prudent investments.
      Thoughts?
      If one struggled to acquire their fortune, then I'm hoping they will recall the pains that yielded those gains and be more careful with expenditures.

      Your question brought something funny to mind. I know of an aunti in Pak about whom it is said that she came from very, very, very humble beginnings. She married a man who was financially more stable than her and who eventually worked himself into the more upper echelons of society. After a few years Aunti swapped the 1-bedroom home that she shared with her in-laws for a more spacious and sprawling abode in a posh neighborhood. One day, the uncle's younger brother requested that aunti and her husband accompany him to check out a rishta that he had received for his eldest daughter. The prospective groom and his family resided in that same variety of narrow and congested "galli" that aunti was all too familiar with. But Aunti's fortunes made her forget her humble roots and she scoffed at her surroundings; they were now too "lowly" for a woman of her standing. Aunti expressed her disdain... to which her husband's younger brother quipped, "Tu aapay kithon di ehn?" (And where do you come from?)...or something along those lines. I was told that Aunti remained silent. And here we must credit Aunti for her humility (dair aaye daroost aaye), or perhaps she was just at a loss for words. Either way, silence was the better option. While Aunti did not labor and toil for her improved fortunes (her husband did), she is however a prudent and resourceful woman. She just forgot (for a fleeting moment) where she once came from. You know that song by Jennifer Lopez..."I'm still Jenny from the block"...? Lol, I doubt that she's "still" the same Jenny. Money can sometimes make people forget the block or hood of their earlier days.
      I think that if you let me....I'd treat you like the sky
      I'd join up all your insecurities...And bundle all your flaws
      I'd create a new constellation....And search for it endlessly

      Comment


      • Siren
        Siren commented
        Editing a comment
        Well said as always redvelvet. That auntie kind of reminds me of my grandma. She the sweetest lady. She grew up well off and married well but when her and grandpa migrated from Bangladesh they lost everything. But even now, her standards are those of a rich gal.

    • #6
      So i'm a very poor planner specially when it comes to finances. And when it comes to spending, i may spend a lot on stupidest things. That being said, Alhamdulillah, i'm not the one who got money all of a sudden thru any source (i wish though). And I'm not saying that those who get money like this are a good planner either.
      So in the end it all comes to an individual. Like many other things. One thing is for sure. Life teaches big lessons and a lot of us learn it the hard way.
      We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star." -- Stephen Hawking

      Comment


      • #7
        Originally posted by NavAhmed View Post
        My experience of money is, the more you spend it, the more of it comes to you, the less you spend, the less you get....
        Spend money to make money. Assuming you are making "INVESTMENTS", some things are Investments in your self, which might not have an easy monetary return.

        On the topic at hand...
        new money tends to want to show off....old money either already has those items or take it for granted. Either way, a lot of people want to show off how "rich" or "successful" they are. The car you drive, what you wear and the house you live in.
        omae wa mou shindeiru

        Comment


        • #8
          Originally posted by SID_NY View Post
          So i'm a very poor planner specially when it comes to finances. And when it comes to spending, i may spend a lot on stupidest things. That being said, Alhamdulillah, i'm not the one who got money all of a sudden thru any source (i wish though). And I'm not saying that those who get money like this are a good planner either.
          So in the end it all comes to an individual. Like many other things. One thing is for sure. Life teaches big lessons and a lot of us learn it the hard way.
          Its all kind of relative though no? In my family, I?m the reckless one in terms of spending but in comparison to others (e.g. my husbands family) I?m a regular financial whiz and queen of budgets.

          Comment


          • SID_NY
            SID_NY commented
            Editing a comment
            You must be good in planning overall. It helps. Good for your family. I believe there should be atleast one in every household who does all the budgeting and keep things in check

          • Siren
            Siren commented
            Editing a comment
            SID_NY Unfortunately that only works if both partners are on the same page. Hubby and I both have good incomes yet we have zero savings because all of my money goes towards paying off our house and anything leftover from his salary goes to bailing out his mother and siblings all of whom are either really smart or really stupid (I still haven’t figured out which...*eye roll*)

          • SID_NY
            SID_NY commented
            Editing a comment
            Hmm. I hear ya. I dont know whats his thought process on this but if if it comes to supporting these many people, it needs an elevation in resources, and yes budgeting will be even more effective then

        • #9
          Siren I said 'in my experience'. Of course I earn lot more than the average (MasAllah), but I have seen many colleagues and friends having similar type of incomes but some of them are big hoarders. Lets put this way, 90% of the money I made I spend it on myself, or on things I like or are dear to me (including charity), and the rest? I wasted.
          I'm Not The Messiah, I'm A Very Naughty Boy

          Comment


          • #10
            Originally posted by NavAhmed View Post
            Siren I said 'in my experience'. Of course I earn lot more than the average (MasAllah), but I have seen many colleagues and friends having similar type of incomes but some of them are big hoarders. Lets put this way, 90% of the money I made I spend it on myself, or on things I like or are dear to me (including charity), and the rest? I wasted.
            My intention wasn?t to discredit what you?re saying. I apologize if it came off that way. I was just trying to get people?s insight on how these things usually go. Do your friends/colleagues who are hoarders seem to be in a stronger financial position? If god forbid, you were both to lose your jobs tomorrow, what would be the difference between you and those people?

            Comment


            • #11
              Money is meant to be spent.

              Comment


              • Siren
                Siren commented
                Editing a comment
                What about saving for retirement? Or even just saving for incidentals or potentially unknown big expenditures?

            • #12

              Siren properties, lot of money is spent on properties
              I'm Not The Messiah, I'm A Very Naughty Boy

              Comment


              • #13
                Originally posted by NavAhmed View Post
                Siren properties, lot of money is spent on properties


                I wont really classify that as spending per se. it?s more like investing money.

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