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Are female professionals disadvantaged in the rishta process?

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  • Are female professionals disadvantaged in the rishta process?

    I am a female doctor in my second year of residency, and I am growing increasingly frustrated at the lack of prospects for young female professionals. It seems that all the good looking young male doctors around my age always seem to find some pretty girl back home who will be a housewife. (Don't get me wrong - I have no problems with housewives and wouldn't mind being one myself). I am just so disheartened that seemingly all the intelligent professional men do not choose a wife of equal capability and of similar nature. I don't want to work for the rest of my life and feel that my time was wasted as I will work myself to death and in the long run all the good guys are quickly being taken by girls back home or girls who don't have careers.

    Anyone have similar experiences? Any advice to share? How can I find men in situations like the above?

  • #2
    I have utmost respect for professional career oriented girls, and I do share your concerns, as most of my friends from medical school eventually ended up marrying girls with lesser qualifications or career aspirations. For many having a housewife is very important for obvious reasons, and they may fear a highly qualified career woman will be less likely to accept her role as a housewife.
    I'm Not The Messiah, I'm A Very Naughty Boy

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    • #3
      Well getting disheartened doesn?t help, does it. That?s how it is, and all we have to do is work with what we got.

      Why not to to turn the tables and find a good looking young man with aspirations from back home to marry and bring him to wherever you are.
      Grizzly bear

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      • #4
        I'm not in residency yet but when rishtas visit they say "can the girl apply only in our area?" People are so not understanding. Life is not in our control. You don't always get what you want...guys have a hard time understanding this and aren't willing to bend when they have a million other options available to them.

        Try finding someone outside of the medical field.

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        • #5
          Maybe cause men are willing to marry down - less educated women with less money.

          Comment


          • third string
            third string commented
            Editing a comment
            Illuminate so would you date a guy less educated and made less money then you? That's not how it works lmao.

          • IsaidwhatIsaid
            IsaidwhatIsaid commented
            Editing a comment
            Of course it is possible for men to marry up. That "hot felon" Jeremy Meeks secured his bag and got with the TopShop heiress. Maybe you just aren't ambitious enough stringy.

          • third string
            third string commented
            Editing a comment
            IsaidwhatIsaid lol i just don't care about money. #PrincipledMan

        • #6
          Are you living in the West? If you aren't opposed to this, then you can always look outside your ethnic group/nationality for marriage. That alone will give you more options. There is also the fact that there are other fields besides the medical field that have as much prestige.

          Comment


          • third string
            third string commented
            Editing a comment
            More options ain't always better. Once you go Paki, you can't go backy!!1

          • IsaidwhatIsaid
            IsaidwhatIsaid commented
            Editing a comment
            third string I dunno. Maybe OP might wanna take a break from biryani and go for a shawarma.

        • #7
          I don`t think female professionals are at a disadvantage. They get to meet and interact with far more eligible men than their non-professional counterparts. Most men would appreciate some financial contribution toward household income from their wives, female professionals again have clear advantage there. But the problem arises with, given everything else being the same, some women who give a vibe of bringing $2/= of headache along with every dollar she earns. Then the less the headache, the better. Not all professional women are like that but some are who mistakenly think that guys get intimidated by them.

          I learned about this rishta sometime back where the girl had a good future earning potential and her family was investigating a guy`s background so intrusively that the guy completely backed out after learning from his close friends about the questions being asked about him and girl`s family`s desire to speak to guy`s estranged relatives to listen to their `perspective`. All this happened before the guy had even met the girl. It seemed as if they were collecting so much information about him in order to keep him on a short leash for the rest of his life.

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          • Bobby1
            Bobby1 commented
            Editing a comment
            Are children and victim wives called estranged relatives now?

          • third string
            third string commented
            Editing a comment
            Dude that is super creepy, Idk why they think it's okay to stalk people.

          • decentGuy
            decentGuy commented
            Editing a comment
            @Bobby1: No
            @third string: Its an age old problem. I understand the right to get a background+community check but some folks go way overboard, way too soon.

        • #8
          .

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          • #9
            With an almost 70 percent reported abuse rate the stats say that 2 out of 3 probability that the girl can end up on a chit creek without a paddle, many parents dont equip the girls with mental, physical, emotional and financial independence so no backgrounds checks can be too much when the stakes are that high.

            Here desirable girls take a few years to be sure if the guy is worth the risk so if one gets offended by the girls families concern then if he bolts then it is a lucky thing for the girl.

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            • #10
              The most important thing in life is to get the priorities right, no matter how successful you are and your priorities are not right you will crash and burn. I always wanted to marry a career girl then I saw someone who made my heart stop and still does and that was the defining moment for an amazing life. She decided not to work and that was just fine.

              So marry for love and not for mathematical transnational reason.

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              • #11
                Originally posted by Tereliye View Post
                I am a female doctor in my second year of residency, and I am growing increasingly frustrated at the lack of prospects for young female professionals. It seems that all the good looking young male doctors around my age always seem to find some pretty girl back home who will be a housewife. (Don't get me wrong - I have no problems with housewives and wouldn't mind being one myself). I am just so disheartened that seemingly all the intelligent professional men do not choose a wife of equal capability and of similar nature. I don't want to work for the rest of my life and feel that my time was wasted as I will work myself to death and in the long run all the good guys are quickly being taken by girls back home or girls who don't have careers.

                Anyone have similar experiences? Any advice to share? How can I find men in situations like the above?
                Professional girls are at much advantage than the non professional ones at least in Pakistan. Sometimes i feel the guys outside of Pakistan are more conservative in their thinking than the guys in Pakistan. i would advise you to look in Pakistan as most are open to marry professional girls( some because of the financial contribution by the wife and some to maintain their status quo in their social circles.

                Comment


                • #12
                  Yes. A good earning man doesn't want a wife's money per se.....he wants comforts of a good home life and support from the wife in terms of giving attention to the house.
                  So, if you can manage to curtail your professional life to such number of hours that you can devote time to the family.....and that you don't hate doing it......you can most definitely get with the kind of guys you are talking about.........
                  Marr te gaye aaN ........per Chassss aaa gai A

                  Comment


                  • Bobby1
                    Bobby1 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Or get a husband who will do major domestic duties, many women now are bread winners and get good looking husbands who are not as financially successful and they take care of the house.

                • #13
                  YES they are...
                  You should have gotten married earlier and then start your career afterwards.

                  You need to lower your expectations or broaden your horizons. Pick your poison.
                  omae wa mou shindeiru

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                  • Bobby1
                    Bobby1 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Yeah!! she could have been cooking and picking up after someone a lot sooner, what a great loss. Although late Dr. Zahids wife was telling me that almost all of Zahids family is doctors and dentists marrying equally qualified and then divorcing soon after.

                  • NaanGuard
                    NaanGuard commented
                    Editing a comment
                    like I said...pick your poison....do you want to be a strong independent women and marry a younger dude or a really old dude Or would you rather be a obedient houswife. Different strokes for different folks. Either way, you can't have your cake or eat it.
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