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  • #16
    Re: Infertility

    [MENTION=15256]bitter[/MENTION]
    There are copious amounts of extenuating circumstances that revolve around my dilemma...my wife and me always argue and when we argue she uses curse words, she doesnt want to move away from her parents even though my own parents rely on me and I want to be flexible in terms of moving for housing and job purposes, she does not compliment me academically or even street smarts; I asked her randomly what is 5*5 and she couldn't answer, now I am suspecting she not only has fertility but also intellectual issues so I asked her random questions and she didn't know basic facts that a 10 year old would know. Even then I continued and realized that she invested and helped me so much but breaking point was when she told me she doesn't care to have kids and started blaming me for everything and that she wants to sit at home and I have to take care of everything A-Z.

    I am a pretty lenient person and its not like I am some super smart person but being born and raised in N.A I think there is a litmus of how one should think and act and I can honestly and wholeheartedly say that as many flaws I have, I am willing to work on them; she isn't so call me a f**k up, loser or every god damn word in the dictionary that reflect my actions but unless you know the whole story you shouldn't make assumptions and I take full responsibility because I should have indicated these points in my original post but obviously I was in the wrong.

    Life is so short and to live it with someone who literally has every single flaw in the world is not a life worth living and who knows maybe this will bite me in my a** in the future but because this is now affecting my mental and physical health I am backing out before it gets worse.

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    • #17
      Re: Infertility

      Did you not meet with her before marriage to gauge her intellectual ability?

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      • #18
        Re: Infertility

        To me, it sounds like you're disappointed that it won't be easy for you two to have children AND due to that reason, all of her flaws are beginning to look like her faults.

        I will suggest couples counseling.
        Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames. ~ Rumi

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        • #19
          Have you tried fertility drugs? IUI? IVF? If you tried all of these and failed then there is always adoption. I was infertile but very easily conceived two kids through fertility drugs alone. 6 years later when I absolutely did not want kids, I conceived naturally to my absolute shock. This goes to show that the timing of when and the question of how many kids you will have is only in Allah's hands. It's only been one year. Keep trying or consider adoption.

          And yes it is very shallow. I was almost inclined to tell you to leave her if this is how you think because she deserves much better. But I am hoping you do the right thing and at least try and stick by her and who knows Allah may bless you both soon.

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