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  • nature

    what is the definition of a persons nature and is it possible to change it and if so how?
    If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.” ~

  • #2
    whoa, defining person's nature can be complicated. Possibly the 'instincts' of anyone?

    And I dont think nature changes. There can be a little cover laid over a person's thyself but its temporary and the underlay remains the same.
    We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star." -- Stephen Hawking

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    • Bobby1
      Bobby1 commented
      Editing a comment
      I can predict a persons nature even without them opening their mouth, just by seeing what they wear, what they drive, how they walk and other physiological features.

    • SID_NY
      SID_NY commented
      Editing a comment
      ooo.. you are a mentalist Bobby1

  • #3
    You've asked yet another thought-provoking question, Life01. It's one that I've often wondered about myself. I'm going to attempt to wrap my head around it so here are my two cents:

    Within our nature, Allah has embedded the potential for certain vices (greed, jealousy, pride, etc.) And He has also embedded within us the potential for many virtues (charity, patience, kindness, humility, etc). I think that a person's nature deals with their inclinations toward a certain vice or virtue. For example, some people have a greater proclivity toward patience and this trait features regularly in their daily interactions, so it becomes known as a habit or as part of their nature. Similarly, one might have a greater proclivity toward a certain vice (jealousy, for instance) and its frequent occurrence becomes associated with their nature. So, I feel that nature deals with people's oft-occurring proclivities and that our environment and experiences do have a profound impact in shaping our nature.


    Can nature change? Hmm. If we go by the verse in the Surah Ra'ad where Allah states that He will not change the condition of a people unless they change themselves, then this seems to imply that change in nature is possible; that there is a scope or potential for change. I think many of us at some point have dismissively remarked about a person that, "Oh they will never change. Us ki aadat hi aisi hai." But then the question arises that why do they have a certain aadat? For instance, let's say that someone is said to have a malicious nature and is often engaged in gossip. Where does this tendency stem from? Is there a deep-rooted insecurity or feeling of inadequacy? Or perhaps that's their way of exerting control when they feel powerless in other ways?


    If we are wholly subject to our natures, then what's the purpose of a Day of Judgment? One can just argue that I don't need to make an effort because my nature can't be changed. But the fact that we are commanded to strive in this world against our nafs seems to indicate that the potential for change in nature does exist. If it didn't....if things were **that** hopeless, then we would not be commanded so. Much of nature is built upon aadatain. And aadatain can be undone. But it takes time and persistent effort. And it also requires us to examine the root cause behind those habits and to change our thought patterns.


    I have loved ones that have changed over the years; their fiery tempers have mellowed considerably. Their scathing speech replaced by softer words; their former impulsiveness checked by consideration for others. I have a long ways to go in reforming my character but I am not exactly the same person I was years ago. Each season in our lives comes with its territory and its changes and awakenings. Our interactions with others and our trials and heartaches shape us as well. Wind and drops of rain erode the surface of a rock but the changes are not apparent right away; it takes time.


    It seems that the vices are attributed more to the lower nafs and the whisperings of the shaitan than to inherent/innate nature. We live in a very noisy world; a fast-paced and increasingly materialistic and narcissistic world that can hinder us from examining our inner state. I think that nature can change if one is willing to look inward, to introspect, to make persistent effort, and to make dua as well. We can and do evolve with time.
    I think that if you let me....I'd treat you like the sky
    I'd join up all your insecurities...And bundle all your flaws
    I'd create a new constellation....And search for it endlessly

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    • #4
      nature never changes, it just gets intense..

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      • #5
        It's not very easy to explain the nature of a person it's a kind of treasure that is under seek..
        Elixir Hair Transplant Clinic in Islamabad

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        • #6
          Originally posted by Life01 View Post
          what is the definition of a persons nature and is it possible to change it and if so how?
          We just did some training on personality types and the instructor mentioned there are 4 personality types. some say 16 and you are born with it and cant change your personality. It is nice if you know what your spouses personality type is. I am more a director and my wife is an empath, Saify is a thinker and Harris is a socializer and if I dont deal with them as per their personality then there will be lots of conflict.

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          • #7
            There are many, many theories about personality and at what age it develops and whether it is fixed or can evolve, etc.

            I don't believe in the absolute view that nature is fixed and can never change. I see that as a hopeless and defeatist attitude and people can use such a stance to "justify" or resign themselves to harmful behaviors and habits as opposed to working to improve themselves. And this stance can even hold you back in life.

            Yes, there are certain qualities that are more likely to remain constant. For example, if you are an introvert....you're pretty much gonna stay an introvert. Sure, you might work on getting out of your shell a bit more......but you're gonna have introverted tendencies. But as far as habits are concerned .....such as.....a quick temper, deceitfulness, selfishness, jealousy, drinking, infidelity..........they can be worked upon. Unless you have some severe psych disorder such as legit narcissism which prevents you from seeing your errors.....there is potential to improve. We are a medley of our upbringing, our experiences (both good and bad), our preferences, etc. One can only blame their experiences (childhood, upbringing, environment, experiences) to a certain point....but then we have to take charge of ourselves and that's challenging, but it can be done.
            I think that if you let me....I'd treat you like the sky
            I'd join up all your insecurities...And bundle all your flaws
            I'd create a new constellation....And search for it endlessly

            Comment


            • #8
              Originally posted by Bobby1 View Post

              We just did some training on personality types and the instructor mentioned there are 4 personality types. some say 16 and you are born with it and cant change your personality. It is nice if you know what your spouses personality type is. I am more a director and my wife is an empath, Saify is a thinker and Harris is a socializer and if I dont deal with them as per their personality then there will be lots of conflict.
              Ballay Ballay Ballay..

              welcome back Uncle, how are you??

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              • #9
                Originally posted by redvelvet View Post
                There are many, many theories about personality and at what age it develops and whether it is fixed or can evolve, etc.

                I don't believe in the absolute view that nature is fixed and can never change. I see that as a hopeless and defeatist attitude and people can use such a stance to "justify" or resign themselves to harmful behaviors and habits as opposed to working to improve themselves. And this stance can even hold you back in life.

                Yes, there are certain qualities that are more likely to remain constant. For example, if you are an introvert....you're pretty much gonna stay an introvert. Sure, you might work on getting out of your shell a bit more......but you're gonna have introverted tendencies. But as far as habits are concerned .....such as.....a quick temper, deceitfulness, selfishness, jealousy, drinking, infidelity..........they can be worked upon. Unless you have some severe psych disorder such as legit narcissism which prevents you from seeing your errors.....there is potential to improve. We are a medley of our upbringing, our experiences (both good and bad), our preferences, etc. One can only blame their experiences (childhood, upbringing, environment, experiences) to a certain point....but then we have to take charge of ourselves and that's challenging, but it can be done.
                "chor chori se jaye haira pheri se naa jaye"

                I saw people with bad nature becoming worst shape of humanity.. similarly goes to a good nature person.. but never saw a bad person becoming good.. that's something internal as in natural.. & ofcourse "Hidayat minjanib ALLAH"

                did you ever see a case??

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                • redvelvet
                  redvelvet commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Yes, I have seen cases of people with difficult personality traits who have mellowed down and become wiser with time,

                • Hakuna Matata
                  Hakuna Matata commented
                  Editing a comment
                  hmmm interesting, did you have a closer look on their nature now?? I never saw that kinda case..

              • #10
                Originally posted by Hakuna Matata View Post

                "chor chori se jaye haira pheri se naa jaye"

                I saw people with bad nature becoming worst shape of humanity.. similarly goes to a good nature person.. but never saw a bad person becoming good.. that's something internal as in natural.. & ofcourse "Hidayat minjanib ALLAH"

                did you ever see a case??
                Baita I was more talking about personality types, they say you are basically born with your personality type and it is important you understand the differences. Harris eg is a socialiser, that involves in more focused on friendships, having fun, making friends and less focused on tasks, deadlines etc. They are easily distracted so I am not going to focus on him becoming an engineer, CA etc. If he goes into real estate that would be awesome for him as he could dress up, drive shiny cars and enjoy making relationships. Safy is a thinker so being in engineering is good for him. Many desi parents shove the wrong item as per their kids personality type.

                Also with my wife she is a relator so I cant just ask her to do a task, i have to first tell her how much I love her and how much I appreciate her doing this for me. As per kutta people empathy is mostly developed by age 5 and if parents didnt teach that then guy gunna most likely stay kutta forever. We learn from observing and not from being told or reading books.

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                • #11
                  Originally posted by Bobby1 View Post

                  Baita I was more talking about personality types, they say you are basically born with your personality type and it is important you understand the differences. Harris eg is a socialiser, that involves in more focused on friendships, having fun, making friends and less focused on tasks, deadlines etc. They are easily distracted so I am not going to focus on him becoming an engineer, CA etc. If he goes into real estate that would be awesome for him as he could dress up, drive shiny cars and enjoy making relationships. Safy is a thinker so being in engineering is good for him. Many desi parents shove the wrong item as per their kids personality type.

                  Also with my wife she is a relator so I cant just ask her to do a task, i have to first tell her how much I love her and how much I appreciate her doing this for me. As per kutta people empathy is mostly developed by age 5 and if parents didnt teach that then guy gunna most likely stay kutta forever. We learn from observing and not from being told or reading books.
                  Ok. but what I think is habits have nothing to do with one's nature, as they adopt them whereas nature is by-birth..

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                  • #12
                    Originally posted by Hakuna Matata View Post

                    Ok. but what I think is habits have nothing to do with one's nature, as they adopt them whereas nature is by-birth..
                    Well if you are born a director then chances are you are going to be a lot more structured and disciplined compared to a Socializer. Safy is very structured by nature and Harris is not, they both look identical, have exactly same body type, were raised to be athletes under same coach and also share friends.

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                    • #13
                      Originally posted by redvelvet View Post
                      Yes, I have seen cases of people with difficult personality traits who have mellowed down and become wiser with time,
                      That has to do with testosterone and hormones, my dad was very violent when he was younger and as you get older the testosterone levels go lower, my psychologist was telling me that she sees a lot of cases where older women are abusing their husbands now as a payback of the abuse of younger days when they were full of testosterone. When my kids acted up I told my wife this is normal and hormonal so dont chalk it up to nature just let the phase pass.

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                      • #14
                        Originally posted by Bobby1 View Post
                        disciplined compared to a Socializer.
                        maybe I like discipline too..

                        what about you Uncle??

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                        • #15
                          Originally posted by Hakuna Matata View Post

                          maybe I like discipline too..

                          what about you Uncle??
                          I am more a director personality and from your posts I can see that you are a director personality also who are structured, disciplined know what they want and like to get to the point like yes, no, when why and don't pepper the answers with unnecessary details. Directors have big goals and try hard to achieve them. RV is a director personality also, @

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