I?m not sure if this is just the natural way of things and I?m not sure if it will stay this way.

But things are getting better. The last fight with the husband was a very intense one and I nearly left the house. Without the baby. He can keep the baby. I don?t even want my car, I?ll frikkin walk to Florida.

So after that drama of me losing my mind and my husband getting shook up watching me go thru insanity, I guess that gave us a jolt to work better on our marriage.

Its not easy. He is a good man. He has many great qualities. But he is insecure about some things and he has a temper on top of it with volatile emotional swings. He actually needs to see a psychiatrist - he has a mood disorder.

His sister is bipolar and his mom is elderly and although once very functional, suffers from anxiety. They all live with us. Or maybe we live with them. I was later to find out that the down payment on the home was done by his mom.

Due to the various mental health problems going on, I have to stay quiet and ignore a lot of stuff. You can?t get angry at crazy, I always tell myself with my mental health patients. Because then that makes me crazy. Then I?m no longer the rational one in the relationship. The sister has normally not affected me because I?m pretty good with bipolars. You simply can?t let them get to you.

Because theyre not in control of their emotions, I don?t fault them for going into emotional upturns and downturns. But she has on numerous occasions been negative towards the baby. The baby crying agitates her and she will even scream at me to shut the baby up. Because like this is her palace and the baby is an Effin inconvenience for her.

So because of that, the bipolar sister has gotten under my skin and my husband now knows from my facial expressions at times that she bothers me. ANd that bothers him. He says that I make faces about his family. He doesn?t know why, or that his sister has targeted the baby with her venom. I don?t tell him, he might get violent with the sister. So I take the blame and make it seem like yeah I shouldnt make disapproving faces when his family is around. I normally don?t but with the baby crying so much at times, it is hard to hide the frustration. Baby will be crying and MIL and SIL and husband are all giving me different instructions at the same time. Milk is too cold, it?s too hot, it?s not hot enough now. Really wish the breastfeeding thing had worked out, I?d take baby to my room and shut the door and shut their opinions out so I could get stuff done for the baby. This was the point of contention that caused the most recent fight which led to him telling me he thinks we need to get divorced. In the middle of a crying spell, me looking exasperated upon getting multiple opinions on the temperature of the milk when I told them the whole time the issue is not hunger, that she is tired and sleepy and i need to take her up.

Another sister in law had been here the past 2 weeks and she is a God send. She has controlled her mom when she noted the mom is getting negative towards me. My Mil normally is fine with me but with the baby she is pretty critical of how I handle things. Sometimes I?m right and sometimes she is right and instead of just taking that in stride she gets offended when I try to explain my alternative reasoning to her. On occasion she has told me that I?m the reason the baby cries and that?s the baby doesn?t cry in anyone?s elsr?s Arms. ( which is not true - she cries more at sunset. Which is common for small babies)