She cries a lot. I thought she was getting out of this Sundowning phase but she started up again yesterday and today.

i still don?t feel like she is my daughter. I have a disconnected feeling with her, like she isn?t mine. I don?t feel compassion when I see her cry. She annoys me actually. I like it when she smiles though but I do get bored of playing with her. She does too, she breaks out crying after no more than 15 minutes of play.

She simply can?t just chill out for 30 min to an hour. Like, why can?t she just play with her toys in the pack and play for 1 hour and not cry.

I try to take care of things all at once. She cries - she is getting a bottle, a burping, diaper change all together. None of this waking up 20 minutes later because we need to change the diaper. Eff that - but still she breaks out crying. She likes to be picked up and walked around. So she can see stuff. Is it normal that this annoys the **** out of me? I got *** to do. And I feel like she is an inconvenience- since giving birth I still haven?t been to the salon. Not like my husband is touching me even nearly 3 months out of delivery. We are both exhausted and our marriage has taken a toll from the baby.

Maybe this is why I resent things. I feel like his attention is all on her, I?m just the babysitter tagging along for the ride. Only to get scolded that I?m not preparing the milk fast enough or that I need to stay in her room when she sleeps and that I can?t sleep in my own room. No, we have not gotten a baby monitor yet. He wants to find the perfect one, and he will shop the hell out of amazon but he finds time to do all else except to get the baby monitor so I can return to being in bed with him. Baby can?t sleep with him in the room because his snoring is so bad and she startles at small sounds.

The door is creaky so I can?t even open it to check on her. I have paranoia that?s I?ll find her dead from suffocation and that I won?t hear her.