I want to cultivate my personality. From going on all these dates I have realized that I dont always have interesting things to discuss with people. I dont always know what to discuss with people. Surely I can talk about various things but not everyone is interested in the things that I like to discuss. Are there more general things that people like to discuss? I am more of a loner so I do not hang around with people much and dont always know what interests them. What do men like to talk about for example with a woman? I have an idea of what women like to talk about but not men. I have brothers but we joke around a lot so its not the same as talking to another guy.

My last boss used to discuss a lot of politics, thats what he liked talking about but most men I meet do not like discussing politics. I can discuss politics. I can discuss cars even, but then what?? This really came to a head when H told me that I am boring and never talk about anything substantial basically. He is right, I dont really know what to talk about with him or any other guys for that matter. It's one thing when the conversation is short and you dont have much time with someone but a different thing when you are on a date and are spending a few hours with the same individual. Now with some people the conversation just flows. Like what happened with me and Iran-Iraq guy. One of my ex rishtas I could talk for 10 hours on the phone with and we'd never get bored but that is a very rare thing I have found.

I hear girls talking to guys about the most random things and I cannot envision myself doing that. I see them sending funny posts or videos and I know I am not that person. I've spent a lifetime entertaining myself because I am more isolated and I have lost the ability to entertain or charm others. I live in my own world. I need to open up to the outside world.

And so I want to cultivate my personality. This isnt only about what to do with dates, its about people in general. Interacting with women as well. I want to obtain some hobbies different than my current ones which I dont always partake in anymore. I'm looking into taking one or two classes I can do after work. I need tangible, now interests. After work I come home and work on some business related stuff at times but other than that I dont do much. I was doing a lot more before and was so busy but that has died-down now and I have a lot of time on my hands. I want to be interesting. To myself. It can trickle from there to others but I want to start with myself. If I dont find myself interesting, why will I expect anyone else to?