I was perusing the dating site I was on and whom do I see? I see "H". The guy I liked for so long and who refused me in the end. I felt sad and I almost started tearing up but I told myself to keep it together. I was at an interview for a job and it was about to start. Didnt need trickles of tears lingering on my cheeks for a potential future boss to take note of. It's sad just thinking about it. I feel I wasted so much time eventhough I learned a lot about myself in the process. I feel he is not that choosey so he will find someone reasonble quick with his good looks and initial charm.

It's a strange feeling. To love someone and know that they are not right for you. To no longer desire to be with that person because of how they are and yet to miss them and wonder whom they may be meeting now instead of you. To enjoy meeting others and getting to know them and to still think about the times you had with the one you are moving on from. As long as I have had to move on from him, the finality was really only about two months ago. It's still difficult to cope but I am doing it. I still love him and perhaps I always will have a place in my heart for him or maybe in time that place will get smaller and smaller until there is no more space left for him to fill. Memories. They can help and they can hurt but we have to deal with them and place them accordingly. Today I am missing his presence and tomorrow I will be happy that his life is now separate from mine. The cycle will repeat itself until there are no more repititions to make. What a strange feeling thing this is.