This is so silly. We did not end up meeting today. The chef. Instead we got into three different arguments. *smack*

The first one was about meeting up. I told him I prefer he does not get a hotel room and we both drive an hour each way. As you know I have low self esteem and my main thought was what if he doesnt like me when he sees me and then I will feel really horrible that he came all this way and spent money on a room and he leaves within 10 minutes. He said he wouldnt do that but who is to say since we havent met? Then he told me his restaurant closes late, then he has to get ready and by the time he reaches here it will be 1am and if I am willing to meet that late. I remembered the situation with the lawyer and I said absolutely not. I told him he is crazy if he thinks I am meeting him so late. *snooty* He then said he will think about what to do and call me later. Needless to say its been several hours and no call. I know he is busy but still. My solution was we meet another weekend when he will be free.

The second argument was about marriage and timing. He told me he just got out of an engagement with a girl who changed the moment she got engaged and started being very demanding all of a sudden. He said it really affected him because he did not expect such a sudden change in behavior from someone he knew for so long. He said it resulted in him feeling that he wants to wait another few years before getting married to someone. I told him its too bad that it happened that way for him but it doesnt mean that all girls will do the same thing. I told him flat out that if he wants to wait years to get married then he should stop talking to me right now. I am not going to wait several years. Absolutely not! *snooty* I've done the waiting thing and it ended up going nowhere and I am NOT doing that again. So then I was like well you told me that many girls come to the restaurant just to see you so why dont you go date one of them. *snooty* I know I shouldnt have said that but I did. He told me he is not going to take that long but he doesnt want to rush everything either. Said he wants to meet me and changed the subject.

The third argument was about my job situation. First we were arguing about what he plans to do with his restaurant because he was complaining to me he has no life because of his restaurant basically. So I told him why dont you hire someone to do what you do and hes like I am already paying so much for current employees, I am not going to hire another one when the business is not doing that well. He said he wants to sell it maybe. I asked him what will you do once you sell it? He said he is thinking seriously about selling it but he did not have any idea what he will do after he sells it. All he said is that he will think of something and is capable of doing other things. Where does that leave me? I dont want to deal with instability right off the bat. I dont even know if he can afford to get married at that point. How long do I wait and see what he decides to do? We havent even met yet but you get the idea. This launched into my job situation which isnt good either. My job is temporary for one thing but he went into the fact that I dont seem to be looking for a job in my field. It's not for a lack of trying. I told him I have applied to several places that are degree relevant and then he tells me I am being lazy he thinks cause I am not as focused on finding such a job and instead I am taking these other types of jobs. Gahhhhhh. Then hes like apply in his city for jobs and he thinks I will get one there and then I can move there. Ummmmm, we havent even met yet and you are suggesting I move to your city after finding work there. Right buddy! NOT! I do like his city but I have things going on here and I dont want to move right away. To me the city I am in has more to offer in terms of whats around it and nearby. His family is there so I can understand why he'd want to stay there. I dont mind moving later but this is not something I want to even consider right now.

I cant believe we havent met yet and we have had these types of discussions already. In a way it was funny and in a way it was kind of exciting to see how passionately he was speaking. I cant get caught up in that. I need to focus on whats best for me and the other person ultimately.

I dont know when he plans to meet me or if he does anymore. Havent heard from him yet. I'm not contacting him till and unless he contacts me.