We barely spoke much before I asked him what he was doing yesterday. I didnt have much to do and I wanted to socialize. He said he wasnt doing anything and I told him I'm heading to the mall and if he wants we can meet up there. He agreed. His background was a mix of two different arab countries. He looked like a male version of the model Iman. About two inches taller than me. We met up and got along in our conversation. A girl actually came upto me while he was eating and complimented me but he hadnt said anything in that regard. I wasnt sure what he thought of me, infact I was thinking he had a friend vibe for me. The thing I noticed about him was that he was very polite. Anytime he accidently bumped into someone at the mall he'd apologize. He made sure he was walking next to me the entire time, so if he got ahead he'd turn around and wait for me. I was going to drop him to his car when he suggested we go to a juice place for a drink. There was a place near the mall so I drove us there in my car.

It was there that the conversation got a little more serious. It was there that a discussion ensued about my self-esteem and confidence issues. He could tell I dont take compliments well and he asked me why my self-esteem is the way that it is. I explained about the guy I used to like and the things he'd say and how I let myself feel that way. I explained some other things, including my weight issues. He asked why I'd stick around someone who talked to me that way. I told him that I dont think that person knew the effect he was having on me. Maybe he was oblivious to the things he'd say? He felt I had no reason to have such low self-esteem. I couldnt believe I was discussing this on a first date with someone. I couldnt believe how I was feeling about myself. That I allowed someone else to make me feel so terrible about myself. That I allowed another person to make me feel I dont have much to offer a guy. I realized I have a lot to work on within myself. How did I get here?

It was a good conversation. He told me that he wants to help me feel better about myself and build up my confidence again. I thought that was so kind of him. So many guys will be turned-off and here is someone who wants to assist me in how I think of myself.

Later the conversation got lighter. He mentioned how he wants to wait to get married as he is completing his Masters and wants to be financially stable first. Another thing I liked about him is that he was quoting Quran at times, when we discussed difficulties in life. He reminded me that there are people in much worse situations and that we should be grateful for the burdens we have because we could have had it worse. I liked that about him. I mentioned to him that I am looking to get married soon so he stood up, walked over to me, lifted my arm and said "Okay, lets go to see the imam right now, lets go to the masjid". I started laughing!

At the end of our conversation he asked me if I wanted to go meet up with his friends as they were having a get together. I told him it will have to be another time as it was late and I sleep early.

I dropped him back to his car and drove home. By the end of the night he used the terms beautiful, so cute and sexy to describe me. Not sure where the last term came from. *smack* I had a nice time, he seemed like a really genuine guy. Did I feel a romantic vibe? I am not sure what I was feeling because the conversation about my self-esteem set a certain tone.

I dont want this confidence issue to affect every date I go on with someone but how do I keep it to myself? It's as if some guys can see right through it and they bring it up, just as he did. I will have to navigate slowly.

Today I am to meet the lawyer unless he cancels. He said he will be doing some work today and so I am not sure if we will be meeting. Will find out.

Time to cook.