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  • Results 1 to 9 of 9
    1. #1

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      Life01's Avatar
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      say you had a potential rishta where the guy was obviously better looking he could pretty much qualify as a model.
      say your average. would you wonder if he was sincere or had other motives ?

      guys are all about looks ,especially in an arranged setting its difficult to believe they genuinely find someone less better looking than them attractive.

      does this happen? what are the chances he is not going to get married then later on realize what he missed out on. how would you work out if he is sincere and does genuinely find you attractive?
      If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.” ~

    2. #2

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      StrangeOne's Avatar
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      If it's arranged then heck of a lot tick boxes need to be ticked that go beyond the face. Education, family background, religious background, parents interpersonal relationship is all looked at. I know some attractive girls who don't get rishtas because they're not as highly qualified as their peers. And it's important to do a background check of all guys whether hot or not. You don't want the mess of a girlfriend who's still around.

    3. #3

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      Yes, "Life01" is more than just looks......haha

      But, to add to StrangeOne's point...family's role in decision making also plays a big roll. Some of my friends who would go after hot girls and brought them to their families, but their mom's/family were so against those type of girls. I noticed plenty of hot girls wear pretty revealing clothing as well so modesty can also play a roll. I've spoken to plenty of girls online and for rishta and the ones who are really hot also have a list of demands, they are really crazy (demagh kharab hai). I rather find a girl who isn't as hot, but i am still attracted too and will keep me sane.
      Last edited by NaanGuard; 2 Days Ago at 11:19 AM.

    4. #4

      Productive
       


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      In an arranged setting its about looks plus bio (education, family/social status, other skills, are you a good fit for the family, etc) so trying to get the most amount of check marks.

      In other scenarios its similar too, let's say you see someone at school/work or find them online they'll probably approach you if they find you physically attractive then get to know you to find out if you are compatible with them or not.

      Looks are really subjective and what one might find attractive is different to others. Beauty is different around the world, so there's no standard to beauty. I have seen cases where guy was much more 'attractive' than the girl, worked out fine and vice versa. It's all about making it work and how complimentary that person is in your life. This is the 'ulterior' motive.
      “Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.”

    5. #5

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      Bobby1's Avatar
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      Many men don't know they are handsome. My boys gf tells him that her heart stops when she sees him and we used to make so much fun of him and he was so insecure about his looks. People used to say my eldest brother was one of the best looking guys and he didn't seem to be aware of that and married a simple girl and have lived a really happy life.

    6. #6

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      Quote Originally Posted by Bobby1 View Post
      Many men don't know they are handsome. My boys gf tells him that her heart stops when she sees him and we used to make so much fun of him and he was so insecure about his looks. People used to say my eldest brother was one of the best looking guys and he didn't seem to be aware of that and married a simple girl and have lived a really happy life.
      Same can be said about women. My sister is gorgeous, I have seen so many of her friends and our cousins take inspiration from the way she dresses to the way she carries herself. In fact her last coworker not only dyed her hair and got a perm but also extensions to make it look just like sister's natural hair. It really ticks me off that she doesn't see it, she is very insecure about everything. Just one example of many.

      But to OP, I think you should get to know him and if he is superficial, it will show itself very quickly. Plus beauty is subjective, you may consider yourself average but he may view you anything but that.
      Anything worth doing is worth doing well.

    7. #7

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      Life01's Avatar
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      ^ i dont really think its about being superficial its okay to have certain expectations when it comes to looks Iam just wondering if he is genuine in this regard.There are plenty of good looking decent girls , dont want someone who for whatever reason agrees now then later goes on to think i should have married someone that matches me in looks. and because i dont know what his thinking its difficult to just say that i dont want to go ahead with this because there is not really anything wrong here.

      you do often see really pretty girls with average guys (the other way around is rare) but i guess thats because most guys are usually looking for just a pretty wife and people look for alot more in a man than just looks,usually i guess its the guys salary , job education etc and those things are more important than how he looks, usually.
      If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.” ~

    8. #8
      Lahore Ki Rani
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      Dubaiwali's Avatar
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      The only real answer to this is you never know. You never know sincerity, whether it is arranged or love. I've seen people change, even after they had gone through a 'supposed' love marriage. I've seen both girls and guys manipulate, lie, fake and exploit to get themselves married to someone and then when they're purpose is done; they divorce.

      As an example, I know of a 35 year old woman who got married to her average looking, slightly mentally disabled cousin in UK. Pretended to be so much in love with him, that she was willing to overlook the few things that were offsetting an otherwise ideal rishta. 5 years later, after she's gotten the passport, first thing she did was file for divorce.

      On the other hand, I've seen some arranged marriages working out so well. I have an aunty who is extremely dark - that she looks African, but her husband is fair and good looking. They're happily married from 14 years now and had an arranged marriage.

      Marriage is a gamble at the end of the day, regardless of the circumstances. If you think you like the guy, but are not sure of his intentions etc, you need to get to know him a little and then decide. Go on some dates, if you're allowed to etc, and speak to him before coming to any conclusions. Don't form judgements based on the unknowns.
      Heart in London. Mind in Lahore. Physically in Dubai. Loving it every millisecond.

    9. #9

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      start communicating
      ask him whatever u r feeling, in good and modest way
      shaadi is not a game. sometimes the things that make us feeling insecure regarding a potential rishta, really happen in true terms after. marriage. it is my personal experience


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