• Accomplished
  • Aggravated
  • Amused
  • Angry
  • Annoyed
  • Anxious
  • Apathetic
  • Artistic
  • Awake
  • Bitchy
  • Blah
  • Blank
  • Bored
  • Bouncy
  • Busy
  • Calm
  • Cheerful
  • Chipper
  • Cold
  • Complacent
  • Confused
  • Contemplative
  • Content
  • Cranky
  • Crappy
  • Crazy
  • Creative
  • Crushed
  • Curious
  • Cynical
  • Depressed
  • Determined
  • Devious
  • Dirty
  • Disappointed
  • Discontent
  • Disgusted
  • Distressed
  • Ditzy
  • Dorky
  • Drained
  • Drunk
  • Ecstatic
  • Embarrassed
  • Energetic
  • Enraged
  • Enthralled
  • Envious
  • Exanimate
  • Excited
  • Exhausted
  • Flirty
  • Frustrated
  • Full
  • Geeky
  • Giddy
  • Giggly
  • Gloomy
  • Good
  • Grateful
  • Groggy
  • Grumpy
  • Guilty
  • Happy
  • High
  • Hopeful
  • Horny
  • Hot
  • Hungry
  • Hyper
  • Impressed
  • Indescribable
  • Indifferent
  • Infuriated
  • Intimidated
  • Irate
  • Irritated
  • Jealous
  • Jubilant
  • Lazy
  • Lethargic
  • Listless
  • Lonely
  • Loved
  • Melancholy
  • Mellow
  • Mischievous
  • Moody
  • Morose
  • Naughty
  • Nauseated
  • Nerdy
  • Nervous
  • Nostalgic
  • Numb
  • Okay
  • Optimistic
  • Pakistan
  • Peaceful
  • Pensive
  • Pessimistic
  • Pissedoff
  • Pleased
  • Predatory
  • Productive
  • Quixotic
  • Recumbent
  • Refreshed
  • Rejected
  • Rejuvenated
  • Relaxed
  • Relieved
  • Restless
  • Rushed
  • Sad
  • Satisfied
  • Scared
  • Shocked
  • Sick
  • Silly
  • Sleepy
  • Sore
  • Stressed
  • Surprised
  • Sympathetic
  • Thankful
  • Thirsty
  • Thoughtful
  • Tired
  • Touched
  • Uncomfortable
  • Weird
  • Working
  • Worried
  • Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
    Results 1 to 18 of 21
    1. #1

      Content
       

      Life01's Avatar
      Join Date
      Nov 26, 2011
      Location
      US
      Posts
      562
      Post Thanks / Like
      Blogs
      35
      Mentioned
      11 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      say you had a potential rishta where the guy was obviously better looking he could pretty much qualify as a model.
      say your average. would you wonder if he was sincere or had other motives ?

      guys are all about looks ,especially in an arranged setting its difficult to believe they genuinely find someone less better looking than them attractive.

      does this happen? what are the chances he is not going to get married then later on realize what he missed out on. how would you work out if he is sincere and does genuinely find you attractive?
      If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.” ~

    2. #2

      Blank
       

      StrangeOne's Avatar
      Join Date
      Apr 2, 2013
      Posts
      1,212
      Post Thanks / Like
      Blogs
      25
      Mentioned
      15 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      If it's arranged then heck of a lot tick boxes need to be ticked that go beyond the face. Education, family background, religious background, parents interpersonal relationship is all looked at. I know some attractive girls who don't get rishtas because they're not as highly qualified as their peers. And it's important to do a background check of all guys whether hot or not. You don't want the mess of a girlfriend who's still around.

    3. #3

      Intimidated
       


      Join Date
      Mar 3, 2016
      Posts
      129
      Post Thanks / Like
      Blogs
      4
      Mentioned
      4 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      Yes, "Life01" is more than just looks......haha

      But, to add to StrangeOne's point...family's role in decision making also plays a big roll. Some of my friends who would go after hot girls and brought them to their families, but their mom's/family were so against those type of girls. I noticed plenty of hot girls wear pretty revealing clothing as well so modesty can also play a roll. I've spoken to plenty of girls online and for rishta and the ones who are really hot also have a list of demands, they are really crazy (demagh kharab hai). I rather find a girl who isn't as hot, but i am still attracted too and will keep me sane.
      Last edited by NaanGuard; Mar 20th, 2017 at 11:19 AM.

    4. #4

      Productive
       


      Join Date
      Jan 22, 2017
      Location
      Canada
      Posts
      231
      Post Thanks / Like
      Blogs
      2
      Mentioned
      13 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      In an arranged setting its about looks plus bio (education, family/social status, other skills, are you a good fit for the family, etc) so trying to get the most amount of check marks.

      In other scenarios its similar too, let's say you see someone at school/work or find them online they'll probably approach you if they find you physically attractive then get to know you to find out if you are compatible with them or not.

      Looks are really subjective and what one might find attractive is different to others. Beauty is different around the world, so there's no standard to beauty. I have seen cases where guy was much more 'attractive' than the girl, worked out fine and vice versa. It's all about making it work and how complimentary that person is in your life. This is the 'ulterior' motive.
      “Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.”

    5. #5

      ----
       

      Bobby1's Avatar
      Join Date
      Oct 15, 2016
      Posts
      1,612
      Post Thanks / Like
      Blogs
      13
      Mentioned
      31 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      Many men don't know they are handsome. My boys gf tells him that her heart stops when she sees him and we used to make so much fun of him and he was so insecure about his looks. People used to say my eldest brother was one of the best looking guys and he didn't seem to be aware of that and married a simple girl and have lived a really happy life.

    6. #6

      Apathetic
       


      Join Date
      Jun 24, 2014
      Posts
      782
      Post Thanks / Like
      Blogs
      43
      Mentioned
      100 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      Quote Originally Posted by Bobby1 View Post
      Many men don't know they are handsome. My boys gf tells him that her heart stops when she sees him and we used to make so much fun of him and he was so insecure about his looks. People used to say my eldest brother was one of the best looking guys and he didn't seem to be aware of that and married a simple girl and have lived a really happy life.
      Same can be said about women. My sister is gorgeous, I have seen so many of her friends and our cousins take inspiration from the way she dresses to the way she carries herself. In fact her last coworker not only dyed her hair and got a perm but also extensions to make it look just like sister's natural hair. It really ticks me off that she doesn't see it, she is very insecure about everything. Just one example of many.

      But to OP, I think you should get to know him and if he is superficial, it will show itself very quickly. Plus beauty is subjective, you may consider yourself average but he may view you anything but that.
      Anything worth doing is worth doing well.

    7. #7

      Content
       

      Life01's Avatar
      Join Date
      Nov 26, 2011
      Location
      US
      Posts
      562
      Post Thanks / Like
      Blogs
      35
      Mentioned
      11 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      ^ i dont really think its about being superficial its okay to have certain expectations when it comes to looks Iam just wondering if he is genuine in this regard.There are plenty of good looking decent girls , dont want someone who for whatever reason agrees now then later goes on to think i should have married someone that matches me in looks. and because i dont know what his thinking its difficult to just say that i dont want to go ahead with this because there is not really anything wrong here.

      you do often see really pretty girls with average guys (the other way around is rare) but i guess thats because most guys are usually looking for just a pretty wife and people look for alot more in a man than just looks,usually i guess its the guys salary , job education etc and those things are more important than how he looks, usually.
      If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.” ~

    8. #8
      Lahore Ki Rani
      Worried
       

      Dubaiwali's Avatar
      Join Date
      Sep 5, 2006
      Location
      Dubai, UAE
      Posts
      57,813
      Post Thanks / Like
      Blogs
      69
      Mentioned
      22 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      The only real answer to this is you never know. You never know sincerity, whether it is arranged or love. I've seen people change, even after they had gone through a 'supposed' love marriage. I've seen both girls and guys manipulate, lie, fake and exploit to get themselves married to someone and then when they're purpose is done; they divorce.

      As an example, I know of a 35 year old woman who got married to her average looking, slightly mentally disabled cousin in UK. Pretended to be so much in love with him, that she was willing to overlook the few things that were offsetting an otherwise ideal rishta. 5 years later, after she's gotten the passport, first thing she did was file for divorce.

      On the other hand, I've seen some arranged marriages working out so well. I have an aunty who is extremely dark - that she looks African, but her husband is fair and good looking. They're happily married from 14 years now and had an arranged marriage.

      Marriage is a gamble at the end of the day, regardless of the circumstances. If you think you like the guy, but are not sure of his intentions etc, you need to get to know him a little and then decide. Go on some dates, if you're allowed to etc, and speak to him before coming to any conclusions. Don't form judgements based on the unknowns.
      Heart in London. Mind in Lahore. Physically in Dubai. Loving it every millisecond.

    9. #9

      ----
       

      HSN05's Avatar
      Join Date
      Nov 26, 2014
      Posts
      142
      Post Thanks / Like
      Mentioned
      3 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      start communicating
      ask him whatever u r feeling, in good and modest way
      shaadi is not a game. sometimes the things that make us feeling insecure regarding a potential rishta, really happen in true terms after. marriage. it is my personal experience

    10. #10

      Content
       

      Life01's Avatar
      Join Date
      Nov 26, 2011
      Location
      US
      Posts
      562
      Post Thanks / Like
      Blogs
      35
      Mentioned
      11 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      Quote Originally Posted by HSN05 View Post
      start communicating
      ask him whatever u r feeling, in good and modest way
      shaadi is not a game. sometimes the things that make us feeling insecure regarding a potential rishta, really happen in true terms after. marriage. it is my personal experience
      The chances of bieng allowed to talk one to one in private like even over the phone or something is slim. Face to face in front of everyone is possible . How would I phrase this question without making it sound like he has an hidden agenda h e would probably take offence to that . Would it be easier if I asked his sister( who also happens to be prettier than me) I actually don't know how to ask this without being so direct and non offensive . And why does not this guy want to talk to me maybe if he asked permission would be granted.

    11. #11

       Moderator


      ----
       

      Paheli00's Avatar
      Join Date
      Mar 26, 2010
      Location
      U.S.
      Posts
      5,371
      Post Thanks / Like
      Blogs
      3
      Mentioned
      53 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      Quote Originally Posted by Life01 View Post
      The chances of bieng allowed to talk one to one in private like even over the phone or something is slim. Face to face in front of everyone is possible .
      Why don't you first find out what is doable. Have you actually asked your mom/dad whether you can talk to this guy on the phone or even e-mail him? Have they explicitly said "no"?

      What about a semi-supervised conversation....for example, I have cousins who spoke with their potential rishtas with family present in the house....like the guy and girl are allowed to walk out in the balcony to talk etc.). I have a cousin whose parents set up dinner at a restaurant with the guy's family.....the parents sat in one table and the guy/girl sat at a different table. This way, the entire time elders are watching the couple in a very public setting but the guy/girl still has privacy to talk without parents listening to every word.

    12. #12

      Content
       

      Life01's Avatar
      Join Date
      Nov 26, 2011
      Location
      US
      Posts
      562
      Post Thanks / Like
      Blogs
      35
      Mentioned
      11 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      this might sound silly but i dont know how to phrase my concerns either . do i say why are you marrying me if your so good looking ? and that too he can easily answer without revealing his motives if his smart. its difficult to work out if his genuine. i also dont know how and what is appropriate to discuss.
      If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.” ~

    13. #13

      ----
       

      shaasavera's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jun 2, 2014
      Posts
      2,720
      Post Thanks / Like
      Blogs
      1
      Mentioned
      45 Post(s)
      Tagged
      1 Thread(s)
      Quote Originally Posted by Life01 View Post
      this might sound silly but i dont know how to phrase my concerns either . do i say why are you marrying me if your so good looking ? and that too he can easily answer without revealing his motives if his smart. its difficult to work out if his genuine. i also dont know how and what is appropriate to discuss.
      I have an idea. I agree with the above examples of a semi-supervised setting or knowing what is an appropriate way to talk eg. email/phone etc

      Instead of asking it directly ask it as part of a situation. LIke you can say your friend asked you about this on behalf of a relative who is in this situation. Or you can say you saw this scenario in a movie and what he thinks about it. You can give the example of this Pakistani drama called sun yara. According to many youtube comments lot of viewers feel the lead hero (Junaid Khan) is better looking than the other lead (Hira). I don't really see difference but this could be a situation you can bring up. Here is the OST for clues in the drama.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeFchCADDMQ

    14. #14

       Moderator


      Anxious
       

      Eastern Dresses's Avatar
      Join Date
      Feb 23, 2012
      Location
      Islamabad
      Posts
      2,580
      Post Thanks / Like
      Blogs
      16
      Mentioned
      45 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      Quote Originally Posted by shaasavera View Post
      Instead of asking it directly ask it as part of a situation. LIke you can say your friend asked you about this on behalf of a relative who is in this situation. Or you can say you saw this scenario in a movie and what he thinks about it.
      I disagree with this tactic. Most people respond to scenarios based on general opinion not personal opinion.
      Last edited by Eastern Dresses; Mar 29th, 2017 at 06:41 AM.
      The Way of those on whom You have bestowed Your Grace, not of those who earned Your Anger, nor of those who went astray. (Al-Fatihah)

    15. #15

      ----
       

      shaasavera's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jun 2, 2014
      Posts
      2,720
      Post Thanks / Like
      Blogs
      1
      Mentioned
      45 Post(s)
      Tagged
      1 Thread(s)
      Quote Originally Posted by Eastern Dresses View Post
      I disagree with this tactic. Most people respond to scenarios based on general opinion not personal opinion.
      Alaa baat kahi aap ne api. I agree lekin phr bhi wo directly kahengi kaise pata chalega answer genuine hai ya nahi

    16. #16

      ----
       

      Bobby1's Avatar
      Join Date
      Oct 15, 2016
      Posts
      1,612
      Post Thanks / Like
      Blogs
      13
      Mentioned
      31 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      When I took over the new site I inherited a young man as a host for that site, He is a Fijian Indian and he is really dark and I assumed that he wouldn't be popular with girls and I later found out that another beautiful girl had to be transferred out of the site because she was totally smitten by him and wouldn't leave him alone. Turns out this young man is hugely popular with females, hence beauty in the eyes of the beholder. Don't overthink this stuff. You don't win hearts with looks but by your actions.

    17. #17

      ----
       

      shaasavera's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jun 2, 2014
      Posts
      2,720
      Post Thanks / Like
      Blogs
      1
      Mentioned
      45 Post(s)
      Tagged
      1 Thread(s)
      Quote Originally Posted by Bobby1 View Post
      When I took over the new site I inherited a young man as a host for that site, He is a Fijian Indian and he is really dark and I assumed that he wouldn't be popular with girls and I later found out that another beautiful girl had to be transferred out of the site because she was totally smitten by him and wouldn't leave him alone. Turns out this young man is hugely popular with females, hence beauty in the eyes of the beholder. Don't overthink this stuff. You don't win hearts with looks but by your actions.
      Great comment. I do feel looks seem to matter more when it comes to girls then boys. For girls if a guy makes them feel special, has a good personality and sense of humour that is more impressive. Ive watched many tv shows/movies from subcontinent I see many more dark skinned guys then females.

    18. #18

      ----
       

      Bobby1's Avatar
      Join Date
      Oct 15, 2016
      Posts
      1,612
      Post Thanks / Like
      Blogs
      13
      Mentioned
      31 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      Quote Originally Posted by shaasavera View Post
      Great comment. I do feel looks seem to matter more when it comes to girls then boys. For girls if a guy makes them feel special, has a good personality and sense of humour that is more impressive. Ive watched many tv shows/movies from subcontinent I see many more dark skinned guys then females.
      Many here refuse to accept skin tone as a measure of beauty, in this case the girl thought my host is stunning looking. Last evening I was dealing with this couple and the caucasian girl was unbelievably beautiful, dressed to perfection on top of that and it seemed that she spends a lot of time at the gym and her husband was a black man. Another example was my previous very good looking assistant who is now my colleague was dealing with this Somali guy and she came back to me and said that the guy is so good looking that she is having a hard time talking to him. Our culture skews our measure of beauty. At my previous job this Nigerian girl was considered the most gorgeous female and I had noticed the room go dead silent when she entered the meeting room.


    Similar Threads

    1. Potential Rishta
      By PapuChiri2020 in forum Relationships
      Replies: 57
      Last Post: Feb 5th, 2016, 08:00 AM
    2. What would parents ask a potential rishta from a guy
      By nsquared1 in forum Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
      Replies: 1
      Last Post: Aug 28th, 2015, 01:34 AM
    3. Done with potential rishta.
      By pastriess1989 in forum Relationships
      Replies: 23
      Last Post: Dec 15th, 2012, 02:30 PM
    4. Potential Rishta options 2
      By mamababaandbaby in forum Relationships
      Replies: 16
      Last Post: Jul 18th, 2010, 12:24 AM
    5. potential rishta options
      By mamababaandbaby in forum Relationships
      Replies: 15
      Last Post: Jul 17th, 2010, 03:57 PM