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  • Results 1 to 13 of 13
    1. #1

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      Bobby1's Avatar
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      Talk to perfect strangers and get them to like you also be charming in your everyday interactions with store clerks,customer service reps etc and report on this thread. Tell us how strangers sometimes helped you or made you feel.
      The only we grow is by stepping out of our comfort zone and by doing things we are not keen on doing. Most of us have the natural ability to get strangers to like us. In life we need other people to help us and cooperate with us to give us what we need.
      Yesterday I was at the court of Queens Bench and did not have too much time to read up on stuff so I decided that I will get people to help me. Ahead of me in line there were three good looking lawyers an older very distinguished lawyer, a female and a very handsome freckled faced young lawyer. Everyone was dead silent and I was getting bored so decided to strike up a conversation. I asked the female 2nd in front of me if all of them worked for the same firm as they all had perfectly matching navy suits and she smiled and said no and that lawyers are just boring, I had seen her guide a perfect stranger so I knew she was kind hearted. I asked her if she had a card on her and she did not, we started chatting and soon the handsome lawyer joint in and it was very obvious that both these young lawyers were really attracted to each other and we reached the front of the line and these wannabe lovers didnt want to leave the line. So if I hadnt started the conversation these guys wouldn't have met..rest to be continued...

    2. #2

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      Bobby1's Avatar
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      So I psyched myself into charming the official who was responsible for filing the document, I talked to her with a big smile, told her I am self representing and if she could kindly help me. She went thru all my documents, fixed the affidavit of service and guided me about the next step. So please step up and tell me how you got helped by strangers and if you plan to have a conversation with strangers, officials, store clerks, waiters, cooks etc.

    3. #3

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      Mystique's Avatar
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      In pakistan, the only way the people you mentioned above and any government staff 'like' you is if you give them money. Actually, it is the money that you give them which they like, not you. Just like dog treats. If you know how to train a dog... They only interested in treats and will do anything you tell them to and would perform any tricks you want them to. You only have to have bags of treats to give them. Similarly, in pakistan, you must carry many big bags of money to actually make them do their job right. For example, now you are a complainant & all the court staff will do their job as they are required to do. In Pakistan, if you are empty handed and not carrying bags loaded with alot of money to literally shower on these people, they will never do their job. This is not only with court staff but all the govt depts. Though, in legal issues all the relevant departments involved take more advantage and there is absolutely nothing you can do to make them do their job if you dont give them money. On the other hand, the criminals dont have to do much to be aquitted of any crime. Just pour bags of money on judges, lawyers, court / police clerks and even senior police officers. Someone here told me when he goes to lodge an FIR (this incase you are a victim) he carries with him a lakh or more rupees, keeps on the table of any SHO or DSP before telling him the details of his FIR. This never fails.

      During my last expeience at a government office, I felt so bad for almost all the people arriving and trying to get info but there was absolutely no one to provide them simplest of the info they required. It was just that either those people were barely educated to read. Many were not even able to read. Or these people were too shy to approach any officers sitting there.

      When 1-2 approached me and I guided them well. Almost every one who saw and needed any info started asking me. Even the ones who came later. I think they probably assumed that I was someone working there. Haha, they way I saw some people pointing out to me and telling a lost person to go ask me, I figured they thought I was some ibformation countwr staff walking around in the office whereas I was there for my own documents. Even while my own application was being processed, some aged man came inaide that cabin only to ask me a simple question.

      I felt so terrible for all those people because they were so shy to approach anyone to get the right info because the officers sitti g there were not interested to help them. They were all so angry that at times I saw them insulting those poor uneducated men and women. An attitude like it is not their job.

      I wanted to go daily to that office early morning to help those people. Work as a volunteer to provide them the info they sought which the department staff had no time or interest to give them. But then thought this is pakistan, they may even try to put you in trouble for just wanting to help people by accusing you of interfering so didnt bother going again. Also because Im quite lazy. But I truly felt so sorry for all the lost people who had to make too many trips to one office for something simple just because of unawareness. They all appeared so shy and unconfident as if they were there to write a test on x-y chromosomes formation and would be punished if they asked anything.

      Even when I went inside to see a senior officer for my application and told him to also do the same for the woman behind me who needed the same and told me to help her get it done, the officer said to me, "Ap ka kaam ho gya itna kafi hai. Ap apna kaam karwaayen or jaayen. Dusron ki fikr na karyn." I looked at him once again deeply trying to figure and I gathered from his expressions as if he was trying to be nice to me by advising me that. In his own mind, he was giving me a good advice by telling me not to worry about helping others which actually was job of this department's staff. If things were not so complicated in pakistan, i would have most probably started to go there to help people as a volunteer.



      Edit:
      P.S: "The only thing which is effective other than bags of money in getting people to do their jobs is a big huge mighty stick (Like if you got reference of some big name or a reference call from them, that's as good as such migjty danda).
      Last edited by Mystique; 6 Days Ago at 08:25 PM.
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    4. #4

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      Bobby1's Avatar
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      @Mystique it is a tribal and a feudal society and people would need to join groups, make friends with influential and powerful people to survive and thrive, straight up honest and forthright communication style does not work, I had to tell my staff to not talk direct with eastern people and add a lot of fluff in their conversation. You have a very unique and exotic personality and I feel it would be fairly easy for you to make friends with girls whose folks are very powerful, I can credit some of my friends for saving my life a few times there and also for helping me out in many ways. Most of us would need to join groups and tribes there.

    5. #5

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      Mystique's Avatar
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      Hey Bobby

      What do you mean by the quoted part? What fluff? Now I understand why I cant fit in. Now Ill make sure to add it. But how to add it? What's fluff???

      Quote Originally Posted by Bobby1 View Post
      [MENTION=290490], I had to tell my staff to not talk direct with eastern people and add a lot of fluff in their conversation.
      https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCy4CadTJ6WCkBUESWotzlwg
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    6. #6

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      Bobby1's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Mystique View Post
      Hey Bobby

      What do you mean by the quoted part? What fluff? Now I understand why I cant fit in. Now Ill make sure to add it. But how to add it? What's fluff???
      They take business dealings personal and get angry and enraged if their ridiculous offer is rejected and call the managers, VPs, President of the company etc. This poor most amazing assistant who was getting showered with praise and compliments when she was working in a non desi community and was next in line for a lucrative career, she got transferred to the desi community and she got attacked by like a pack of hyenas for her direct, honest and precise communication, finally she quit. So when they offer to write a ridiculous offer you cant say that this offer is too low or it is not reasonable you have to say it like oh we appreciate your offer so much and we really like you and really want this to work but the company will be losing money and they would not be able to consider this offer etc...when they miss appointments, fail to keep their words and lie and manipulate to get a lower price you cant really call them out. take all the lying, cheating and deception with a smile and keep telling them how much they are appreciated.

    7. #7

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      Mystique's Avatar
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      About the 'powerful folks' of pakistan, sorry Bobby but peersonally, to me, it is not so important if those 'powerful folks' get their friends and acquaintances out of trouble. If those powerfuls had any empathy for the common people, they would have actually contributed to modify this messy system, empower the common people, give thrm equal rights as humans. You think they are not aware of how the common people are being treated? And what dog life they have? They are fully aware but not bothered to address the issues. Keeping these people impoverished and with no or very limited access to education and other basic neccessaities, is how the powerful of these societies boast being powerful. Because if everyone had equal rights then the same powerful will not be considered powerful anymore. That is what they are scared of - losing the 'elite' status that was given to their forefathers for their services by their masters. So in order to retain that elite and powerful status, they do nothing to improve lives and conditions of common people I saw most of whom were pretty scared TBH.

      So tell me is it not too selfish of them to only extend hand to get someone they know out of trouble from a system that is put in place and kept intact by the same powerful? Why are they reluctant to make lives of all the common people easier? Empower and teach them what their basic rights are as humans instead of acting like descended earth gods on them ? That attitude of the powerful is the root cause of the most problems of these societies i think.
      Last edited by Mystique; 6 Days Ago at 11:18 PM.
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    8. #8

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      Mystique's Avatar
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      But Bobby, is that not a part of good customer support ??? Like when you know a customer is ridiculous, wrong or being unreasonable, a well trained customer service professional will still smile and tell them nice stories like no other customer is above them despite knowing that the customer is wrong. Yeah some customers are sometimes too unreasonable but I learned from a very senior half french, half egyptian head of HR of a multinational that "A customer is always right" no matter how much wrong they are. Only in rare cases you act against that rule.


      Quote Originally Posted by Bobby1 View Post
      ...So when they offer to write a ridiculous offer you cant say that this offer is too low or it is not reasonable you have to say it like oh we appreciate your offer so much and we really like you and really want this to work but the company will be losing money and they would not be able to consider this offer etc...when they miss appointments, fail to keep their words and lie and manipulate to get a lower price you cant really call them out. take all the lying, cheating and deception with a smile and keep telling them how much they are appreciated.
      Last edited by Mystique; 6 Days Ago at 11:21 PM.
      https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCy4CadTJ6WCkBUESWotzlwg
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    9. #9

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      Bobby1's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Mystique View Post
      About the 'powerful folks' of pakistan, sorry Bobby but peersonally, to me, it is not so important if those 'powerful folks' get their friends and acquaintances out of trouble. If those powerfuls had any empathy for the common people, they would have actually contributed to modify this messy system, empower the common people, give thrm equal rights as humans. You think they are not aware of how the common people are being treated? And what dog life they have? They are fully aware but not bothered to address the issues. Keeping these people impoverished and with no or very limited access to education and other basic neccessaities, is how the powerful of these societies boast being powerful. Because if everyone had equal rights then the same powerful will not be considered powerful anymore. That is what they are scared of - losing the 'elite' status that was given to their forefathers for their services by their masters. So in order to retain that elite and powerful status, they do nothing to improve lives and conditions of common people I saw most of whom were pretty scared TBH.

      So tell me is it not too selfish of them to only extend hand to get someone you know out of rouble from a system that is made and kept intact by the same powerful? Why are they reluctant to make lives of all the commo prople easier? Empower and teach them what their basic rights are as humans i stead of acting like descendent earth gods on them ? That attitude of the powerful is the root cause of the most problems of these societies i think.
      It really is an anarchy and law of the jungle and we can only think of keeping ourselves protected and out of the harm's way. We shouldn't really worry about things that are beyond our control, noone on this planet can mend that chaos. If we want to survive, thrive and succeed in our goals we will need to join a group of people who will provide protection and help. That is how a group culture works. If I was ever thrust in the middle of that society I would dramatically change my approach to things.

    10. #10

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      Bobby1's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Mystique View Post
      But Bobby, is that not a part of good customer support ??? Like when you know a customer is ridiculous, wrong or being unreasonable, a a well trained customer service professional will still smile and tell them nice stories like no other customer is above them despite knowing that the customer is wrong. Yeah some customers are sometimes too unreasonable but I learned from a very senior half french half egyprian head of HR of a multinational professional that "A customer is always right" no matter how much wrong they are. Only in rare cases you act against that rule.
      They just communicate in a different way, this really good looking Indian realtor was talking to a very well respected professional Canadian realtor over the phone and had offered a low price for the home and the realtor told him that this price is not acceptable, the Indian realtor goes, "your client does not want to sell the house." Canadian guy says, he is willing to sell the house but not at the price your client is offering." This put the Indian guy in a rage and he felt super insulted and after he hung up he started hyperventilating, swearing and cursing, maan, behan etc. The Canadian guy did not mean to be rude or insulting..Rishi was expecting fluff like, maharaaj, aapki bari meharbaani aap nai humarri izzat rukhi, bhia thoree si price ooper karwa loo meri jaan etc...nothing wrong with the Indian way but it does not work here. people are fast paced, they appreciate directness and brevity. You are right about treating customers well but most of the time they are not being insulted but it is their perception that they are being disrespected. I have not come across a single mortgage broker or realtor from the desi background in our city who has broken into mainstream and they can only deal with desi clients. I have trained my staff in how to deal with the ethnic clients and we are doing really well.

    11. #11

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      Mystique's Avatar
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      OMG I never encountered swearing customers during my working career. So really I dont think I can asses the nature of working environment there and the types of customers. When I worked most xustomers used to be obedient more than the customer service staff (honestly, no jokes). And a very laidback work environment.

      So I dont know how things work in estate biz and espeically if its fast paced where you wuickly move on to the next customer and find it too then probably need to be super sensitive to customers is not there. But incase of the kind of customers you mentioned, the best is to just hang up without response, isnt it?

      But am glad to see someone who supports his staff more than the crazies


      Quote Originally Posted by Bobby1 View Post
      They just communicate in a different way, this really good looking Indian realtor was talking to a very well respected professional Canadian realtor over the phone and had offered a low price for the home and the realtor told him that this price is not acceptable, the Indian realtor goes, "your client does not want to sell the house." Canadian guy says, he is willing to sell the house but not at the price your client is offering." This put the Indian guy in a rage and he felt super insulted and after he hung up he started hyperventilating, swearing and cursing, maan, behan etc. The Canadian guy did not mean to be rude or insulting..Rishi was expecting fluff like, maharaaj, aapki bari meharbaani aap nai humarri izzat rukhi, bhia thoree si price ooper karwa loo meri jaan etc...nothing wrong with the Indian way but it does not work here. people are fast paced, they appreciate directness and brevity. You are right about treating customers well but most of the time they are not being insulted but it is their perception that they are being disrespected. I have not come across a single mortgage broker or realtor from the desi background in our city who has broken into mainstream and they can only deal with desi clients. I have trained my staff in how to deal with the ethnic clients and we are doing really well.
      https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCy4CadTJ6WCkBUESWotzlwg
      https://www.instagram.com/mystiquepkofficial/

    12. #12
      
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      Last edited by Hakuna Matata; 4 Days Ago at 03:58 PM. Reason: Eid Mubarak

    13. #13
      
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      Quote Originally Posted by Bobby1 View Post
      Talk to perfect strangers and get them to like you also be charming in your everyday interactions with store clerks,customer service reps etc and report on this thread. Tell us how strangers sometimes helped you or made you feel.
      The only we grow is by stepping out of our comfort zone and by doing things we are not keen on doing. Most of us have the natural ability to get strangers to like us. In life we need other people to help us and cooperate with us to give us what we need.
      you actually mixed 2 things, talking to strangers, and dealing with staff...

      I already am polite to my employees... me unhein narmi/pyar se hi deal kerta hu,. but I do gets angry sometime if it gets outta control... so everyone is respectful...

      and I guess a smiling face wins everyone's heart... so no matter you deal with stranger or anyone else.. asking politely can be a drill..


      P.S: ok, I'll try to be charming and then ask for any help...


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